William Dean A. Garner's definitions

180

High-IQ woman from Yale, or some other "good" school, who's also a ho 'tween the sheets.

Barbie Doll, a 180 honey in sling-back kicks and a spray-on Armani, walks in the bar, hip-checks the bouncer . . . heads don't just turn, they whiplash. . . .

by William Dean A. Garner August 28, 2003

mockumentary

a film that has the look and feel of a television documentary, but with the irreverent humor and slapstick of a comedy, designed to "mock" the documentary or subject it features.

"Drop Dead Gorgeous," which ridicules a local Minnesota beauty pageant, is the illegitimate child of "This Is Spinal Tap" -- a weak link in the people-are-stupid tradition. In that it portrays a group of film students making a documentary about a local witch legend, "The Blair Witch Project" is not unlike those "the making of" movie documentaries with which subscribers to HBO and Showtime are all too familiar.

by William Dean A. Garner August 28, 2003

damn skippy

1. Rock on, baby!
2. Copasetic
3. You couldn't be mo' righter!
4. I couldn't agree more

Superior Court Judge: "Young man, you were caught with a 14-year-old girl in your dorm room."

21-year-old Defendant: "Damn skippy, bubba. Moistie little thang, too."

Superior Court Judge: "She was my daughter. Ten years."

21-year-old Defendant: "Damn skippy, old guy."

by William Dean A. Garner September 9, 2003

Moistie

A young (not THAT young!) beautiful, sensuous and precocious girl who's fully developed, well beyond puberty.

The volleyball court at the beach was full of "moisties."

by William Dean A. Garner September 9, 2003

cracked

To break, hack or "crack" a stupid-assed, expensive-beyond-belief, software program with a CD-ROM key code.

Carl sent me a "cracked" copy of Adobe Photoshop. Saved me $400!

by William Dean A. Garner September 9, 2003

Temptacious

Sexy, sensuous

Barbie is a "temptacious," fire-breathing dragon-lady who'll fuck you through the floor, the foundation, deeper than Old Six. . . .

by William Dean A. Garner September 9, 2003

LUC

The "Law of Unintended Consequences," or LUC, is a natural law that basically means SHIT HAPPENS

As LUC would have it, the "dream girl" I met 48 hours ago left me, stole my life savings, took my cat, ate all my food and called my Mom and told her I was a terrorist in training.

by William Dean A. Garner September 9, 2003