Weasel's definitions

JFing

An initiation rite performed in Toronto, where new members of a gang show their hommies they have no fear by walking along Jane street between Steeles and sheppard shouting "Jane and Finch"

Tom was allowed into the gang after being JFed

by Weasel August 21, 2006

venus nosetrap

the procedure of sneeking up on a sleeping relative or friend who is lying on a couch or some flat surface, and then propping your bare ass right in front of his or her face, next you break some serious wind which scares the shit out of the victim and causes them to jerk their head up violently, the most stimulating element of this process is the next movement which is when the victim's head jerks up and sadistically smacks the bare ass of the performer creating devastating whiplash and then their nose is inserted into the performer's anus, creaing a "venus nosetrap"; this is extremely brutal for the victim because they have the cruel honor of smelling an anus filled with soiled odor; if the performer has a huge ass they can potentially suffocate the victim; if the venus nosetrap is done properly, the victim looks like he is wearing a moon mask, with "moon" deriving from the ass

after holding in a day's worth of farts, i snuck up on my sleeping brother, seth, and gave him the best venus nosetrap yet, making him pass out for 5 minutes, from either my foul fart or blocking up his breathing paths

by weasel June 9, 2005

chillaxterbate

to simulitaneously beat off and rub an ice pack on your jewels(genitalia) which produces a "chilling sensation"; this is best done when one is really hot from some sort of exercise and their nuts are hung like a horse, so putting an ice pack on them relaxes them; however, the negative things about chillaxterbating is that the spluge discharge won't be as far because of the cold temperatures and also if you chillaxterbate too long, you will lose all of your babies(sperm) due to that cold temperatures kill them; this can also be a 2 person exercise which can include many enjoyable positions

I love to chillaxterbate after weight lifting because it cools me down

by weasel May 25, 2005

poop-in-the-john

similar to the act of a jack-in-the-box, but rather when one flips up the toilet seat and finds a disgusting piece of old, yellow-brown, shit sitting at the bottom of the comode; this is usually done as a joke to show off your big load to a friend or relative, and is very rude because they didnt flush it down

i saw the worst poop-in-the-john this morning, my brother said he dropped it the night before, which explained the absurd shape and color of it

by weasel May 20, 2005

bahama breeze

when one is taking a hot shower and they fart, creating a path of wind that smells exceptionally bad due to the warm conditions in the shower

i always make sure to produce a bahama breeze while i'm in the shower

by weasel May 7, 2005

craperbating

the process of pinching a loaf and beating off simulataneously, which requires intense concentration

craperbating is one of my hobbies because i can enjoy two things at once

by weasel May 3, 2005

hebrew hop

when one jumps up in the air, kicking his legs and flailing his arms wildly, basically making himself look like a total douche bag

"hahahaha, look at that queer doing hebrew hops, i think he's mad because he has a small chode"

by weasel May 3, 2005