Uncle Joosie's definitions
after exchanging niceties and compliments with his new match, Bartholomew saw the dreaded "What brings you on?" pop up in his Tinder chat with Beatrice. "my fucking god," he thought, "why do people ask that dumb fucking question? what brings me on? I used my fingers swiping an app that probably sells my location data. fuck off, lady" and he immediately unmatched
by Uncle Joosie May 2, 2022
Get the What brings you on? mug.Betty was startled awake by daughter Harriet for the 3rd time that night, and Betty, bleary-eyed, thought to herself "fucking hell Baby needs a Benadryl." But, knowing drugs are not the answer, Betty rocked her to sleep and put her back in bed.
by Uncle Joosie September 13, 2021
Get the Baby needs a Benadryl mug.Whenever Apartheid Clyde is on a panel or being interview by some right-wing fuckface, he places hands together with fingertips touching like he's "deep in thought" when in actuality he's a nudnik fucking high as a kite on Ketamine and uppers. Unlike Casino Mobster and Resting Vagina Hands, Resting Chud Hands is his way of conveying a false veneer of intellectual contemplation when in actuality he's just dumb as a fucking stump.
by Uncle Joosie March 28, 2025
Get the Resting Chud Hands mug.Coined on Twitter by Aaron Rupar, Sane Washing happens when Casino Mobster Donald Trump speaks his usual nonsensical word salad and then "paper of record" New York Times cleans it up like a dirty vegetable and serves it up to readers as cogent thought.
by Uncle Joosie September 5, 2024
Get the Sane Washing mug.on their third date, Titus and Benji went to a pricey Italian restaurant for a romantic dinner. Benji, 20 years younger, decided to pick up the $100 tab. later Titus called his best gal pal Karla to give her the dish and exclaimed "OMG I have a Sugar Chicken now!"
by Uncle Joosie May 24, 2019
Get the Sugar Chicken mug.Carl was so pissed at Trump about revoking DACA that he opened twitter, wrote a joke and angry tapped the Tweet button.
by Uncle Joosie May 4, 2018
Get the Angry Tap mug.Brendan never backs down from a challenge... so when he heard gal pal Lorraine brag about fasting for 7 days on lemon juice cayenne and water he decided to go for it. After 3 days, Brendan's boyfriend Juan noticed he transformed from loving partner to raging cunt. "OMG Brendan that terrible Bitch Liquid is making you totally intolerable and you need to stop."
by Uncle Joosie September 30, 2020
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