53 definitions by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm

The act of murdering the nostrils of many people in a crowded area by placing a big gulp filled with asparagus piss and a frozen shit log in a low key spot and allowing the musTURD gas to thaw. If done in an enclosed area, should result in roughly 11-19 people throwing up in less than an hour after placement.
Tyrant: What you do this weekend?

Big Easy: I am going to hell. I assassurinated like 50-60 people at Toy Story 4 yesterday.

Tyrant: The fuck is that?

Big Easy: I placed a 17 inch deuce into a 42 oz big gulp slushy full of asparagus piss and placed right under the seat in the third row. It was horrific. So much puke. It was all fun and games until 6 year old's were puking on their infant siblings, and the parents were pushing chunks from the sight and smell of it all. Gonna be hard to whack off tonight.
by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm June 21, 2019
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The act of putting your penis into your own ass (or vagina in the rare case your are born with both) and pounding away against your own will.
Man: (sobbing) I got moleincested last night.

Friend: What does that mean? What happened?

Man: Well, last night I was really drunk and passed out. Woke up to me drilling my own asshole.
by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm April 7, 2017
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When you have so much cum, that you could put out a 13 story apartment complex if it were burning to the ground in a fiery ablaze with one single cum shot.
T-mad: dude I haven’t jacked off in like 4 days.

Big Cheesey: holy fuck dude. I can’t go more than 9 hours or I have to fuck my pillows or something.

T-mad: yea man my balls are gigantic rn. I feel like I could use my Cock for a Fire Sextingsquisher if need be.

Big Cheesey: There’s an industrial building in flames on broad rn. Go be a hero.
by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm June 20, 2020
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Another name for your penis when you are too young to produce any sexual fluids that only air comes out when your masturbate.
Mike: I think the first time I jacked it I was like 13-14 years old.

Marty: Really?! I wacked off at 8. Only air came out though. No jizz.

Mike: I knew you had a tiny air cumpressor.
by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm January 17, 2019
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The act of telling a chick you are going to rape them, but then say afterwards "April Fools!"

...but then you actually rape them.
tyrant: I havn't been laid in a minute dawg

Big East: Today is a good day if any to play a Rapril Fools joke on some skanky twat.

Tryant: What is that? I pop out of the bushes with a knife and yell you're gonna get raped, then tell them April Fools?

Big Easy: Yea. Then you rape them.
by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm April 2, 2020
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To masturbate while driving an automobile. Sometimes you just have to get rid of a rager that just won't go away and you know you will not have the opportunity to do so at the destination location, so you just fire one away on the turn pike.
Tyrant: I hate working this late shifts. It's hard to stay awake on the ride home and I am too tired to bone my gf when I get home.

Big Easy: Dude, you should automobate man. Fire your load on the ride home. Nothing keeps you awake like jackin' the ole pecker doing 85 next to a tractor trailer at midnight.
by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm March 5, 2019
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The act of shooting a fresh load of sperm onto a piping hot piece of shit that you currently have resting in a skillet on your stovetop. You then patiently scrape the penal cheese out of your foreskin (known as smegma) on top of the cum log and bake on medium for approximately 12 minutes or until the jizz turns a dark yellow. Set aside to cool down, this is obviously not for consumption, that would be disgusting. You then take the room temp smeg foo young and blend it into a fine liquid. Proceed to pour that liquid into a funnel that you have placed into your penis hole and enjoy!
Mike 1: Yo man, do you want to get Chinese food later? Im thinking some egg foo young?

Mike 2: That shit is gross. How about we get some smeg foo young instead and feed our boners?
by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm May 26, 2017
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