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Definitions by Ubeenbamboozledson

Squidward Torture Porn

An episode of SpongeBob Squarepants that is entirely focused around making Squidward's life as miserable as possible.
Squidward Torture Porns are among the most reviled episodes of Spongebob. "Good Neighbors", "Ink Lemonade", and "Choir Boys" are generally considered the three worst STP's.

Needs a Hug 

A phrase used to express sympathy for a person who is an emotional train-wreck because they are going through a very hard time in their life.
"What's wrong with Rob?"

"His parents kicked him out of the house because he is an atheist."

"Wow. That really sucks. He needs a hug."
"Right? I wonder how he's doing right now."

Neil Young 

A manchild who removed his songs from Spotify because a podcaster whose political views are different than his was more popular than him.
Neil Young is immature and needs to grow the hell up. Ditto for Joni Mitchell.

Tony Baker 

One of the most underrated comedians of all time.
Tony Baker is known for his hilarious videos where he does voice-overs for various animals (usually cats and dogs).

Cardiomegaly 

An abnormally enlarged heart.
"My boyfriend has a big heart."

"Aww, that's nice. You finally found the one for you!"

"No, he has cardiomegaly. He LITERALLY has a big heart."

Roy Sullivan 

A park ranger who was struck by lightning SEVEN times throughout his life, committed suicide after getting friendzoned in his seventies, and then got struck by lightning an eighth time, six feet under.
Roy Sullivan would have been awesome to have as a grandfather. Can you just imagine being able to say that your grandpa is a "Human Lightning Rod"?

Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness 

Sesquipedalian (adj.)

(Of a word) Containing many syllables.

(Of a person) Having an advanced vocabulary.

Loquaciousness (adj.)

(Of a person) Having a tendency to talk a lot; garrulous.

(Of a sentence) Using far more words than necessary; verbose.

Therefore, "Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness" refers to the tendency of a (usually) highly intelligent person to use extremely large words in mass quantities in order to sound more intelligent. Commonly found in chemistry and other ambitious majors.
Done right, it makes the person sound like someone who oughta be respected and paid attention to, because they definitely know what they're talking about.

Done wrong, it makes the person sound condescending and/or pretentious.
I started playing Words With Friends with Stephen. Terrible mistake. I should have known his sesquipedalian loquaciousness would give him the advantage. He wipes the floor with me every time!