Definitions by Tood Smooth

Caralysis

Procrastination in the form of the temporary inability to move from your car when parked outside a place you should but would rather not enter. i.e. the gym

Bro, I finally drove to the gym but my Caralysis kicked in and was stuck on my phone for half an hour before I finally went inside.

Caralysis by Tood Smooth January 27, 2026

dixologist

A craft cocktail bartender who is purposefully dispassionate towards guests due to autofellatio and self promotion.

"I used to go to Hickory and Holly but the last time I went, the bartender was a total dixologist."

dixologist by Tood Smooth August 24, 2021

dixologist

A craft bartender who, in their pursuit for mixology excellence, has abandoned greatness in guest service in exchange for self-promotion and autofellatio.

"I used to go to Hickory & Holly but the last time I went, the bartender was a total dixologist."

dixologist by Tood Smooth August 3, 2021

Immachore 

An undesirable task performed in a childish and passive-aggressive manner.

My husband is such a whiny baby everytime I ask him to take out the trash. This is an example of a long list of his immachores.

Immachore by Tood Smooth October 4, 2019

Acquaintenance 

The act of continually maintaining connection by liking the Facebook statuses of an acquaintance.

Yeah man, I can't go out tonight, gotta do some Facebook acquaintenance so I can keep those sorta friendships alive.

Acquaintenance by Tood Smooth September 15, 2019

Eggnog Pie 

When one gets intoxicated on Bourbon, stops by McDonalds on the way home for a Large vanilla shake and whist performing cunnilingus, vomits upon the vagina. But as not to waste the Bourbon nor the shake, he or she muscles through and keeps eating.

"Hey Chad, how did your date go last night?" ...."Ugh. It was good, but ended up eatin' the ol' Eggnog Pie if you know what I mean."

Eggnog Pie by Tood Smooth March 29, 2016