thetan

1. Soul. As defined by Scientology. Derived from the greek letter theta for thought or life or the spirit.
2. Thetans are needed to animate a flesh body.
3. According to Scientology you are full of "body thetans" - degraded thetans who were once people but are now clustered together along with you and inhabit your body along with you. You are the leader of these thetans.

75 million years ago there was supposedly a ruler of this part of the galaxy named Xenu. To cure overpopulation on all the planets he controlled he summoned the people with psychiatric conditions in for an income tax audit. There they were instead paralyzed by injection of an alcohol and glycol mixture into their lungs. They were packed up in refridgerated units and loaded onto space-craft and taken to Earth (called Teegeeack then) and packed around the bases of a few volcanos.

Then their bodies were all destroyed by nuclear explosions. After this the thetans who were flying around in the winds were caught in electronic beams and frozen together in blocks. Then they were taken to huge 3-D cinemas and shown forms of what life should be like on Earth. After that they supposedly clustered together with a lead thetan in charge and they ended up inhabiting bodies in these clusters. Hence although we are a single thetan we supposedly have about 2,500 other lesser "body thetans" attached to our own thetan self.

The dysharmonious relationship between you and your thetans is what causes all sickness and disease in the world.

If you join Scientology, and pay thousands of dollars, you can go through the process of freeing yourself from these body thetans at huge monetary expense.
I know why I have cancer! My thetans are flaring up again. Better fork over some cash to the Scientology folks so that I can be rid of this disease and my entire life inheritance.
by The Troll August 07, 2005
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clot

The glob of gelatinous blood that the body creates to stop bleeding.
Vadim was cut by a throwing knife. As the blood spilled forth from his throbbing artery, the clotting factors were exposed to various proteins. These proteins caused the clotting cascade to begin and eventually a sticky fibrin mesh was laid down. Platelets then began adhering to this mesh and eventually the bleeding stopped.
by The Troll May 16, 2006
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Brutus

slang. Object having shape of erect penis. Used for sexual stimulation by men and women. Often the device is powered electronically to produce vibration to enhance sexual stimulation.

syn. Dildo, dong, phallus, vibrator, vibe, wood, pleasure stick, pocket rocket.
Alas poor Brutus, your batteries have run out.
by The Troll July 12, 2005
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velvet wallet

The hair circumbscribed orifice often found between the legs of the female sex.

syn: vagina, spam purse, gash
I deposited my wad in my sister's velvet wallet.
by The Troll March 02, 2004
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shikking

A female who practices the art of self-stimulation or masturbation. The sound of which can be onomatopoetically represented as shik-shik.

syn. Self pollination, opening the beef drapes, scrubbing the velvet wallet.
Jessica was shikking all night thinking about her hot programmer boyfriend.
by The Troll November 14, 2004
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maskies

Like a selfie, but with a mask.
Watch out for COVID, blast your social media with maskies!
by The Troll April 12, 2020
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pseudocyesis

1. (pr. soo-dough-sigh-ee-suss) A psychiatric condion whereby the individual believes falsely that they are pregnant. Occurs in both men and women, patients often manifest symptoms of being pregnant.
I just removed a pillow from Mrs. Smith's shirt. I think she is suffering from psuedocyesis.
by The Troll August 06, 2005
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