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Definitions by The Troll

Like a selfie, but with a mask.
Watch out for COVID, blast your social media with maskies!
maskies by The Troll April 12, 2020

Kyle Gass 

The Yin to Jack Black's Yang in the greatest rock band ever concieved and together the two are called: Tenacious D. The man with the golden fingers, the man who wears sweat pants during performances, the man who can kill a Yak from 200 yards away... with mind bullets!
The man with the power... to move you.
Jack Black: Kyle, if I was in a wheelchair, would you visit me? Feed me? Brush my teeth?
Kyle Gass: Yes.
JB: Would you read to me?
KG: Why couldn't you read?
JB: Just don't want to.
KG: Yes.
JB: Would you take a bullet for me?
KG: No.
Kyle Gass by The Troll June 29, 2006

thrombosis 

The formation of a clot (a.k.a. thrombus) within a blood vessel thereby restricting the flow of blood.
Wilford Brimley got a deep venous thrombosis due to inactivity during an international flight. Lets hope he doesn't get a pulmonary embolism.
thrombosis by The Troll May 16, 2006

pulmonary embolism 

A pulmonary embolism occurs when a venous clot (thrombus) dislodges and travels through the circulatory system and becomes trapped in the lungs. The resulting blockage prevents oxygen exchange and can cause difficulty breathing, coughing up of blood and even instant death if the clot is big enough.
I had a deep venous thrombosis in my leg and then it dislodged which gave me a pulmonary embolism. Then I died.
The glob of gelatinous blood that the body creates to stop bleeding.
Vadim was cut by a throwing knife. As the blood spilled forth from his throbbing artery, the clotting factors were exposed to various proteins. These proteins caused the clotting cascade to begin and eventually a sticky fibrin mesh was laid down. Platelets then began adhering to this mesh and eventually the bleeding stopped.
clot by The Troll May 16, 2006
A glib term used by submariners to describe all other ships that merely float on the surface of the water.
Submariner: What do you call the boats in the Pacific Navy fleet that are about to head out to sea?

Master Chief: Targets.
targets by The Troll August 30, 2005
1. Soul. As defined by Scientology. Derived from the greek letter theta for thought or life or the spirit.
2. Thetans are needed to animate a flesh body.
3. According to Scientology you are full of "body thetans" - degraded thetans who were once people but are now clustered together along with you and inhabit your body along with you. You are the leader of these thetans.

75 million years ago there was supposedly a ruler of this part of the galaxy named Xenu. To cure overpopulation on all the planets he controlled he summoned the people with psychiatric conditions in for an income tax audit. There they were instead paralyzed by injection of an alcohol and glycol mixture into their lungs. They were packed up in refridgerated units and loaded onto space-craft and taken to Earth (called Teegeeack then) and packed around the bases of a few volcanos.

Then their bodies were all destroyed by nuclear explosions. After this the thetans who were flying around in the winds were caught in electronic beams and frozen together in blocks. Then they were taken to huge 3-D cinemas and shown forms of what life should be like on Earth. After that they supposedly clustered together with a lead thetan in charge and they ended up inhabiting bodies in these clusters. Hence although we are a single thetan we supposedly have about 2,500 other lesser "body thetans" attached to our own thetan self.

The dysharmonious relationship between you and your thetans is what causes all sickness and disease in the world.

If you join Scientology, and pay thousands of dollars, you can go through the process of freeing yourself from these body thetans at huge monetary expense.
I know why I have cancer! My thetans are flaring up again. Better fork over some cash to the Scientology folks so that I can be rid of this disease and my entire life inheritance.
thetan by The Troll August 7, 2005