The Slow Kid's definitions

streads

Short for street-beads. Found in New Orleans during Mardi Gras, streads are the sad, unwanted strings of beads seen laying in the street, often submerged in Mardi Gras Juice. Streads are good for giving to women whose titties you want to see but who might not normally be bead-worthy. Broken streads can be easily fixed by twisting the ends together. Fortunately, the stread recipient usually won't notice this shoddy repair until she has already shown the goods, at which point it's too late, ha-ha, I saw your boobs.

Hey Steve! I got that girl over there to show her tits for some nasty old streads! Now let's go get a daquiri-filled plastic football!

by The Slow Kid July 8, 2006

porching

The act of taking unwanted, outdated, or stolen merchandise to the highest floor of a house or apartment and throwing said merchandise over the balcony or out the window. This usually takes place after copious amounts of drinking or from excessive boredom. Typical items to be porched are old bicycles, Betamax VCRs, fried computer monitors, etc. On a rare occasion a stolen Honda scooter might be porched. It is preferred that a crowd be gathered at the base of the dwelling to spread the enjoyment amongst as many as possible.

Mikey drank a whole bottle of Cuervo the other night and decided porching his roommate's futon would be a good idea. It got pretty ugly after that.

by The Slow Kid October 4, 2007

Angie Daddy

A joke phrase used as a follow-up to "Joe Mama". This makes the victim of the joke feel even more insulted if they fall for it twice. Similar in execution to the "Deez Nuts" type of joke.

John: "Hey, someone was looking for you while you were gone."

Mike: "Yeah, who?"

John: "Joe Mama!!! Ahhhhh!!!!

Mike: "Aw, fuck you man."

John: "No, seriously, there were two people here asking for you."

Mike: "Who?"

John: "Joe Mama, ANGIE DADDY!!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!! Dumbass!

Mike: "Go to hell, asshole!"

by The Slow Kid May 16, 2006

Don't taze me bro!

This was a frantic plea from an annoying yet harmless college punk who decided to ask John Kerry one too many questions from the "open mic". Ironically (and tragically) his request to not be tazed was immediately followed by the actual tazing, since the crack group of security guards immediately assessed him as a threat to John Kerry, himself, and the crowd. Nice going security guards, enjoy your unpaid vacation.

"Don't taze me bro!.... AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Why? Why?"

by The Slow Kid October 4, 2007

Hawk Harrelson

THE most annoying announcer, not just in baseball but in all of sports. Has coined some catchphrases so lame that they would even embarrass that fool Stuart Scott. Phrases such as "grab some bench" and "he gone". Wow, what a wordsmith you are, "Hawk". Gee Hawk, why don't you tell us about your awesome .239 career batting average, and how you gave up baseball to be a failure as a professional golfer.

Hawk Harrelson sucks so bad that he could be on ESPN.

by The Slow Kid October 5, 2007