Definitions by The Original Agahnim
cynic
The cynic always had to look for the positive stuff to convince himself/herself that it wouldn't collapse, but always wondered what if?
cynic by The Original Agahnim January 25, 2022
beasts
Of the ones that claim to care about them, some people say they love beasts, then they go and clear cut 50 something acres of their homes, displacing or killing anything that stuck around. If that was land people lived on, they would want to beat somebody or worse for trying to displace them, but when it comes to animals and trees, people seem a lot more forgiving about mowing them down.
beasts by The Original Agahnim January 25, 2022
Grief tragedy sympathy hope
Hopefully instead of cops everywhere reacting with rage over the news about deaths of young fellow officers, they treat their lives as people treated the life of George Floyd, even if these guys didn't look like you, they were just people that wanted to improve the lives of the people around them and they were happy to be alive trying to do that when they were alive. The grief tragedy sympathy hope industry tries to make horror or shock stories to headline the news, and really that does more harm than anything else to what these folks were really about, to focus on things like death all the time.
People that look like anybody can end up like these New York City cops, but how often do you hear much about their lives besides a few seconds on the news, then there is another story. The grief tragedy sympathy hope industry might want you to feel a certain way (sad, angry) about something, but they don't tell you that you don't have to if you don't want to.
Grief tragedy sympathy hope by The Original Agahnim January 24, 2022
Piano wire noose
Where the people that made the counselor most likely got the idea to make a bolito device, a machine that speeds up a decapitation by wire.
Hangman- We're gonna kill ya slow with this...
Condemned- A piano wire noose? Won't that decapitate me?
Hangman- Sometimes. What's more likely to happen is the wire slowly cuts into the neck, severing the major arteries and creating a spectatucular display of carnage. We're gonna hang you from a meat hook and film it, you're gonna be on TV.
Condemned- Wait a minute, I thought I was gonna get a rope like the others, that's fucked up.
Hangman- Hahahahaha.
Condemned- A piano wire noose? Won't that decapitate me?
Hangman- Sometimes. What's more likely to happen is the wire slowly cuts into the neck, severing the major arteries and creating a spectatucular display of carnage. We're gonna hang you from a meat hook and film it, you're gonna be on TV.
Condemned- Wait a minute, I thought I was gonna get a rope like the others, that's fucked up.
Hangman- Hahahahaha.
Piano wire noose by The Original Agahnim January 24, 2022
Natural disasters
They had convinced people living there that it was a good idea to relocate, even though they had lived there for years, based on natural disasters and climate change.
Natural disasters by The Original Agahnim January 24, 2022
Buccaneers
The prettiest and winiest bunch of pirates you ever did see. They must have a room in the locker room where they put make up on before the game.
Tampa Bay Buccaneer- Ref did you see him hit me?
Referee- Listen, I don't have any band aids, if that's what you're asking. After the last Super Bowl you guys said you were tougher than your opponents, so we didn't bring enough, we didn't think you would need any. I guess we were wrong, I guess it was our mistake. We will bring plenty of band aids and kleenex next year though, don't worry! We will be prepared for the mighty Buccaneers next year!
Referee- Listen, I don't have any band aids, if that's what you're asking. After the last Super Bowl you guys said you were tougher than your opponents, so we didn't bring enough, we didn't think you would need any. I guess we were wrong, I guess it was our mistake. We will bring plenty of band aids and kleenex next year though, don't worry! We will be prepared for the mighty Buccaneers next year!
Buccaneers by The Original Agahnim January 24, 2022
Enemy
Someone you don't have to keep up appearances with or pretend to be a friend of, since pretending to be a friend of an enemy is transparent anyway.
His/her enemy wasn't pretending to be a friend, so why was he/she still pretending and waving all the time?
Enemy by The Original Agahnim January 24, 2022