The New Jersey Times's definitions

Outlet Neutering

The act of suppressing a wall outlet's ability to take in plugs, usually stripping it of its several hardy holes. Also to prevent outlet reproducing (sex lmao).

Outlet: I am an outlet
Hardmanson: I've had enough, I will be outlet neutering you

Outlet: No

by The New Jersey Times January 11, 2023

Filipino Chainmaster

If you are performing a Filipino Chainsaw (see page A9), you may call up the services of a licensed Filipino Chainmaster. If a professional is present during the chainsawing, the act immediately becomes holy.

Brian: I'm Filipino chainsawing with my buddy Keith, I love this Filipino chainsawing with my friend Keith.
Keith: Yes, I love doing this too Brian my friend.
Brian: Let's make this holy and now.
Keith: Here is my friend Ramsey, he is a Filipino chainmaster, he will make this so holy Brian.
Brian: That's awesome Keith my friend, let's do this more now but with the Filipino chainmaster which makes it holy.
Ramsey: I am the Filipino chainmaster and this is holy.

by The New Jersey Times January 18, 2023

Greek Calamine

In french, the phenomenon is only seen in Greece. It's abstract.

Geoffrie: You know the Greek Calamine?
Alecksis: Yes

by The New Jersey Times December 19, 2022

Norwegian Filibuster

Any politician wants to have sexual intercourse (sex) ... But you don't want it to happen!!!!!
Instead of physically trying to separate the lovers, use the Norwegian Filibuster!!!!
Use delaying tactics to stop the heinous actions our leaders try to commit on a daily basis

J.Johnson: I'm doing sex with this other politician look at me
Other politician: I am doing sex with this guy look at me go
Jonesy: I have delay tactics also Norwegian Filibuster so back off and unlatch

by The New Jersey Times January 11, 2023

Albuquerque Shake

When you do pee but there are still droplets left. The Albuquerque shake consists of the little dance one does to release those spare drops. 20% chance of success when one is fighting a boner.

Jason Bourne: I am Jason Bourne, I am peeing right now
Toilet: I am the toilet he is peeing right now
Jason Bourne: I finished peeing, but these skeeevy little piss drops won't go away!
Toilet: I am the toilet
*Jason Bourne does the Albuquerque shake*
Jason Bourne: Yes, I did it. I did the shake I am rid of all pee.

by The New Jersey Times January 12, 2023

Filipino Chainsaw

When one grabs his penis and ejaculates by rubbing it up and down a person's leg, for this work, you must make chainsaw noises (from the penis) and sploodge in the area directly behind the kneecap. You have to be within a 10 ft radius of a historical statue related to Pilgrims.

Nico: "I really want to do c&b, but this Filipino chainsaw thing sounds even better!"
Penis: "RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrRRRrrrrrRRRRRRRR"

by The New Jersey Times December 5, 2022

Kazakhstanian Chameleon Twist

Originating from Kazakhstan, it is the event in which you use the tail of a chameleon and shove it the fuck down your friend's throat. This is fucking awesome (fuck yeah). Fuck yeah.

Ja Morant: Hey it's me Ja Morant from that one basketball

Zacharius: Hey Ja Morant from basketballing, do you want to do the Kazakhstanian Chameleon Twist with me, Ja Morant?
Ja Morant: Yeah I would love to do the Kazakhstanian Chameleon Twist with you, Ja Morant here.
Chameleon: I am pumped to be doing the Kazakhstanian Chameleon Twist with Ja Morant and Zacharius soon.

by The New Jersey Times February 1, 2023