The Legendary Ironwood's definitions

touk

This word if chiefly used by Canadians, and is a knitted winter hat, or beanie.

Touks commonly have the classic pom-pom on top.

A: Man, my head is going numb in this crazy blizzard.
B: Dude, what did I tell you? Wear your touk!

by The Legendary Ironwood March 13, 2005

paper wasp

Variation of the paper hornet. A paper wasp is a piece of paper that is folded tightly multiple times to form a 'V' shape. The paper wasp is then shot at an unsuspecting victim, from a rubber band placed around the thumb and middle fingers.
The pain of a hard shot is quite painful, and similar to the sting of a wasp. Hence, paper wasp.

I just was wailed with a paper wasp when I was changing for gym, that's going to leave an unsightly bruise.

by The Legendary Ironwood March 16, 2005

axe

A conformist body spray that is used by guys, often in heavy doses. Often the user likes to make extremely evident through scent, or verbally, that he is wearing the aforesaid deodorant.

Many guys (and women) were hypnotized, by the excellent use of advertising, to believe that they are using it because it smells good. When in reality the real product is a spray bottle marked, "Axe" that is tied to many marketing gimmicks.

"I'm going to, this very second; spray myself with some wonderful Axe."
"Get me some of that!"
"Me too!"
"Over here!"
"I want some!"


A: "I love a man who wears Axe."
B: "Have you ever smelled it?"
A: "Well, no..."

by The Legendary Ironwood March 27, 2005

shoddy

Word used in order to claim ownership between disputed, desired item. Works similar to the phrase, "I call ____." Depending on what rules are being used, a standard shoddy can be trumped with a, "blitz," or preemptively countered with a, "no blitz."

Principle of shoddy is much like the concept behind shotgun

==1==
A: Who wants my last cookie?
B: OOh, me!
C: Shoddy cookie!
B: Shoddy cookie blitz!
<person B gets the cookie>

==2==
A: One of us has to go shovel the driveway.
B: Yea.
A: Shoddy no shovel, no blitz.
B: ... shit.
<person B must shovel>

by The Legendary Ironwood March 13, 2005

noses

Origin of "noses," is most likely from the card game in which players attempt to grab spoons before their opponents and place them on their nose when a player has accumulated four of a kind. The last one to do so, drops out of the game and all others are still in.

In respects, noses is a silent form of, not it. It is used to exclude one party from a desired item or action. When a situation arises where not every person in the group can benefit from, one person calls noses and places the index finger on the tip of the nose. Every else follows suit and keeps their finger on their nose until the game is over. The last person, or the one who doesn’t, is the loser, and therefore does not get what is being sought after.

Noses works in ways, opposite to shoddy

A: Listen guys, I can fit only 3 people in my car, so that means one of you has to get left behind.
B: Alright... Noses! *places finger on nose*
C: *places finger on nose*
D: *places finger on nose*
E: ... shit.
A: See ya later, E.

by The Legendary Ironwood March 13, 2005

wha-bam

1. Interjection used, usually at unexpected times, during the action of striking another. In most cases this is said when giving a ball tap. Exclamation of this word aids in making the attack more public.

2. Verb. To give an unexpected ball tap.

1. <Hey Larry, we totally should go to Quick Check later. >

"Totally, all day I have bee-"

<wha-BAM!!>

"... why? ... ow..."

<Because it was funny.>

2. "Jay totally screwed me over, I'm going to wha-bam him when he's not looking."

by The Legendary Ironwood March 12, 2005

fives

A tool used among friends to retain possession of a certain seat. As the name suggest, fives only works for five minutes. After standing up from his chair, the person announces "fives", and then can freely do what he needed to, and when he returns no one is allowed to take his seat during his absence.

Powerful foe of, "you move your feet, you loose your seat."

Rudolf: I need to pee, fives.

==four minutes later==

Rudolf: Get your ass out of my seat.
Schwartz: No Way!
Rudolf: I called fives, schmuck.
Schwartz: ... arr, you got me this time.

by The Legendary Ironwood March 27, 2005