The Handy Writer's definitions
To allow a freshly applied substance (usually a liquid like paint, stain, seal, etc.) to set, dry and/or cure. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web TV show.
“To achieve a super duper finish on your unfinished cabinet, you’ll need to let your homemade finish uncle fester for at least two hours.”
by The Handy Writer May 9, 2009
Get the uncle fester mug.Any of a number of techniques known to only a scarce few (in some instances, just The Handyman) that will simplify any given task whilst working on projects in the Shop. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
Adoring Fan: “Oh, Handyman, how did you become so incredibly knowledgeable in the handy arts?”
The Handyman: “Ever since I was in diapees, I’ve been formulatin’ and calculatin’ to come up with the best shortcuts for just about anything handy. I refer to each pearl of woody wisdom in my handy bag of tricks as a Shop-Hack.”
The Handyman: “Ever since I was in diapees, I’ve been formulatin’ and calculatin’ to come up with the best shortcuts for just about anything handy. I refer to each pearl of woody wisdom in my handy bag of tricks as a Shop-Hack.”
by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
Get the Shop-Hack mug.by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
Get the Biscuit-brained mug.A scaled measurement (1-10) judging how far one’s undies have crept up one’s crack (a potentially debilitating condition which can result from any activity that involves bending, crouching or squatting, and is usually coupled with the exposure of butt cleavage). Scores on this scale must not be issued or proclaimed by novices or cheese factor enthusiasts due to the extraordinary variations in the kinds and sizes of undergarments, necessitating weighted metrics for accurate judgments. For example, traditional Mormon unmentionables are so baggy they rarely bunch, so scores higher than 4 are only possible if said handy Mormons are morbidly obese. Conversely, butt-flossies (thongs) garner at least an 8 rating without one even budging off the couch. A Cheese Factor of 10 (otherwise known as Imminent Endangerment) represents a frightening creepage scenario which might best be replicated by sitting on a vertical pencil and taking a direct hit, if you know what we mean. The momentarily intractable situation of a Cheese Factor 10 may require hospitalization or, at the very least, the full tugging might of your spouse, significant other, or a hastily constructed series of pulleys, weights and some type of wardrobe hook. Eww. This scale is employed when describing the potential outcome of an upcoming task. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web TV show.
by The Handy Writer May 9, 2009
Get the Cheese Factor mug.To make an idea or task so simple that even a chimpanzee could comprehend or complete something. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
“It’s widely known that Cheney had to chimplify W’s daily presidential briefings; in other words, a Texas monkey couldn’t misunderstand ‘em”.
by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
Get the Chimplify mug.Dave: “The Dangly State seems replete with biscuit-brainers.”
Trev: “Well, you know what they say … all the nuts roll downhill!”
Trev: “Well, you know what they say … all the nuts roll downhill!”
by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
Get the The Dangly State mug.by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
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