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The Conjurer's definitions

Ebag

A co-worker who exhibits one personality and set of morals around you and another completely fake one around their co-workers and bosses. The fake personality is solely so they can appear a "company man" and not lose their job.
Fuckin' Gabe is such an Ebag. Did you see him kissing the bosses' ass to his face and then talking shit behind his back? What an Ebag!!!!!!!
by The Conjurer June 2, 2020
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Cripplize

To get mangled or to mangle someone else to the point of permanent bodily damage.
Please don't cripplize me mister, I'm old, but I still have some shit to live for.
by The Conjurer February 26, 2021
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Butter Bully

When you feel such apathy towards a person that you willfully hit them in the head with a pat of butter and feel no guilt, only pleasure.
I was such a butter bully at the company dinner 'cause I nailed this chick right in the forehead with a big ole pat and it landed in her lap and I couldn't stop laughing.
by The Conjurer November 26, 2019
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Sighborg

One of your co-workers or friends that subconsciously lets out loud sighs throughout the day for no apparent reason.
"You must have a world of trouble on your mind Sighborg 'cause you're doing it again. I feel like I'm listening to Robin Trower's Bridge of Sighs and you're the cowbell guy, except you sigh instead."
by The Conjurer December 12, 2019
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Gizzard Goo

The finger lickin' good residue left at the bottom of your bowl of fried gizzards.
My frickin' redneck friend not only ordered a bowl of fried gizzards, he snarled like a Carolina bobcat at the waitress who tried to take his beloved gizzard goo before he slurped up every drop.
by The Conjurer December 16, 2019
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shamumu

It's a very colorful dress for chicks as big as a whale.
I saw this BBW at Sea World wearing her Shamumu with pride. Almost like she belonged.
by The Conjurer August 29, 2023
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Sphincter of Death

A co-worker whose shit and farts are so bad that they linger in the office bathroom and waft from his cubicle from morning to closing time, every day. They are so horrid that the rest of his co-workers flee for fresh air every time he lifts his ass and smiles with pride.
Holy Shit! He unleashed his Sphincter of Death again so run for your lives!!!!!!!!!!
by The Conjurer September 20, 2019
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