The Conjurer's definitions

Taint Lashing

When your master is half mad and half horny he be whippin' on your taint.

Mistress Maybeline brought me to the brink and then decided she wanted a sandwich, so I gave her the taint lashing of her life.

by The Conjurer July 1, 2019

Butter Bully

When you feel such apathy towards a person that you willfully hit them in the head with a pat of butter and feel no guilt, only pleasure.

I was such a butter bully at the company dinner 'cause I nailed this chick right in the forehead with a big ole pat and it landed in her lap and I couldn't stop laughing.

by The Conjurer November 26, 2019

Sphincter of Death

A co-worker whose shit and farts are so bad that they linger in the office bathroom and waft from his cubicle from morning to closing time, every day. They are so horrid that the rest of his co-workers flee for fresh air every time he lifts his ass and smiles with pride.

Holy Shit! He unleashed his Sphincter of Death again so run for your lives!!!!!!!!!!

by The Conjurer September 20, 2019

Sighborg

One of your co-workers or friends that subconsciously lets out loud sighs throughout the day for no apparent reason.

"You must have a world of trouble on your mind Sighborg 'cause you're doing it again. I feel like I'm listening to Robin Trower's Bridge of Sighs and you're the cowbell guy, except you sigh instead."

by The Conjurer December 12, 2019

Gizzard Goo

The finger lickin' good residue left at the bottom of your bowl of fried gizzards.

My frickin' redneck friend not only ordered a bowl of fried gizzards, he snarled like a Carolina bobcat at the waitress who tried to take his beloved gizzard goo before he slurped up every drop.

by The Conjurer December 16, 2019

Social distancing anxiety

The palpable anxiety that come on when I even think of being separated from my fellow humans, even at six feet.

Fearing that my State will lock me in my home for weeks at a time, by myself, gives me social distancing anxiety.

by The Conjurer March 20, 2020

Ebag

A co-worker who exhibits one personality and set of morals around you and another completely fake one around their co-workers and bosses. The fake personality is solely so they can appear a "company man" and not lose their job.

Fuckin' Gabe is such an Ebag. Did you see him kissing the bosses' ass to his face and then talking shit behind his back? What an Ebag!!!!!!!

by The Conjurer June 2, 2020