Texas Haz's definitions

Swiss Army Dick

Those of us males with diverse sexual history and experiences, involving unusual or exotic circumstances, paraphenalia, and partners. The metaphorical Dick has a tool for every occassion, and varies accordingly when erect.

Old Swiss Army Dick had another 5-way last weekend.

by Texas Haz June 16, 2008

NAFTA Special

A drink trifecta, popular in Ohio, in which the patron is served a Molson, a Bud and a Corona, drinks all three, and then leaves without paying.

I had a NAFTA Special at TGI Fridays and it didn't cost me a dime.

by Texas Haz June 16, 2008

Rusty Knee

the stain on your pants left behind when you get a lap dance from a stripper who's on her period

Candy at the Gold Club gave me a rusty knee last night and ruined my cotton dockers

by Texas Haz January 12, 2009

Edward Blowden

the guy that tells everyone else at the party that you have coke

edward blowden sold me out to the whole party!

by Texas Haz December 8, 2022

Country Blumpkin

An off-shoot of the famous Blumpkin (getting head while taking a shit) but performed in an outhouse. Porto-potties are an acceptable substitute, provided the location is rural.

"Uncle Cooter done got a Country Blumpkin from Mary Jane Rottencrotch last night"

by Texas Haz June 13, 2008

Mexican Deadbolt

Leaning a chair at an angle up against a door so no one can get in from the outside

I can't get in to Pedro's methlab, he's got the Mexican Deadbolt on

by Texas Haz August 25, 2011

Sexspectation

One's pre-conceived notions regarding a woman's potential propensity to put out in the sack.

Jill exceeded all sexspectations when we hooked up on friday

by Texas Haz August 24, 2008