Terry Deary's definitions
n. Has several, widespread meanings - often depending on geography - such as blowjob or underwear. Can also be used as a generic insult.
The word is best used, however, to describe enemies who must be eliminated in videogames.
The word is best used, however, to describe enemies who must be eliminated in videogames.
Me (playing Goldeneye: Jesus, I'm getting blasted to fuck here! There's way too many gonks!
You (advising me): There's one to your right...
Me: Oh shit, I'm dead. These gonks just didn't stop. Fucking gonks.
You (advising me): There's one to your right...
Me: Oh shit, I'm dead. These gonks just didn't stop. Fucking gonks.
by Terry Deary December 7, 2006
Get the gonk mug.n. (a.k.a. chips and cheese) commonplace British delicacy, to be found in almost every 3am eaterie for around £2.00. Profoundly sautéed in 'graisse animale', the chips (fries to non-UK English speakers) are then drowned to taste in traditional seasoning (table-salt and industrial malt vinegar) before the 'pièce de résistance' - a delightful coat of the cheapest plasticky "cheddar-syle" cheese available. Voilà! Delicious.
The mis-pronounciation is a direct hommage, if you will, to the owners and employees of Britain's millions of kebab shops, and their unilateral endearing trait of being unable to speak English.
The mis-pronounciation is a direct hommage, if you will, to the owners and employees of Britain's millions of kebab shops, and their unilateral endearing trait of being unable to speak English.
*3 o'clock a.m., any town centre in the UK*
Turkish guy at till: Whatchoo wan'?
Drunk customer: What? £5 for a kebab? I'll have fookin' chips and cheese then.
Turkish guy (to the guy doing the frying): Ey Sanjeet, two chip an' chee!
Turkish guy at till: Whatchoo wan'?
Drunk customer: What? £5 for a kebab? I'll have fookin' chips and cheese then.
Turkish guy (to the guy doing the frying): Ey Sanjeet, two chip an' chee!
by Terry Deary February 28, 2006
Get the chip an' chee mug.n. (sometimes "elephant impersonation") To open your pockets out, unzip your fly, and whip it out, thus your pockets bearing vague resemblance to elephant ears, and your walloper to the beast's trunk.
The more ardent of impersonators will paint his beef dagger grey, then gel his pubes outwards and paint them white, to give the impression of tusks.
The more ardent of impersonators will paint his beef dagger grey, then gel his pubes outwards and paint them white, to give the impression of tusks.
The kids weren't amused by his balloon shapes or his juggling, and Coco the clown was running out of ideas. He had to make sure these kids had fun or he wouldn't get paid for the gig. All of a sudden, he had a stroke of genius!
"Say, kids..." whispered Coco, "do you like wild animals?"
"Yeah! Yeah!" yelled the brats excitedly.
"Well, what luck!" the clown laughed, "'cos I just happen to have my pet elephant with me today!"
"Hooray!" shouted the kids.
Coco was fined £5000, put on the Sex Offenders' Register and sentenced to 3 years without parole for indecent exposure to minors.
Elephant impressions are not suitable for children under 10 years old.
"Say, kids..." whispered Coco, "do you like wild animals?"
"Yeah! Yeah!" yelled the brats excitedly.
"Well, what luck!" the clown laughed, "'cos I just happen to have my pet elephant with me today!"
"Hooray!" shouted the kids.
Coco was fined £5000, put on the Sex Offenders' Register and sentenced to 3 years without parole for indecent exposure to minors.
Elephant impressions are not suitable for children under 10 years old.
by Terry Deary August 29, 2006
Get the elephant impression mug.v./n. inf(!) to unexpectedly penetrate someone's anus; often, of a heterosexual couple engaged in doggy style intercourse, when the male withdraws from the vagina, and hilariously re-inserts into the anus without prior warning.
NOT to be confused with the equally amusing Cadbury Surprise.
NOT to be confused with the equally amusing Cadbury Surprise.
Betty: ... but then, as I... as I was about to... come, for some reason he pulled out... and then... *breaks down sobbing* he.. he put it... oh god! *sobs uncontrolably*
Psychiatrist 1: He gave you a BACKDOOR SURPRISE!? What a guy!!!
*hi-fives Psychiatrist 2*
Psychiatrist 2: Man, that is awesome!
Psychiatrist 1: He gave you a BACKDOOR SURPRISE!? What a guy!!!
*hi-fives Psychiatrist 2*
Psychiatrist 2: Man, that is awesome!
by Terry Deary July 21, 2008
Get the backdoor surprise mug.n. inf(!) A hoor who specializes in backdoor delivery, and has become so familiar with Cadbury Lane olympics that she desires and eventually, REQUIRES, a daily dose of sodomy.
Priest: Do you, Terry, promise to turn this respectful, sweet and innocent young lady into a nasty, filthy, fusty, slimy, cummy, rotten, shitty, dirty, skanky, rancid, foul, putrid, fetid, horrible little bumslut?
Me: I do.
Priest: And do you, Germaine, promise to take a regular rectal rogering from your betrothed as and when he demands?
Bumslut: I do.
Priest: We now conclude the ceremony by explaining in graphic detail and diagram the foul, ungodly, unforgivable anal action which will tonight take place in Germaine's pink, pristine, virgin bumhole to her father.
Father: I might kill myself if you do that.
Me: Amen.
Me: I do.
Priest: And do you, Germaine, promise to take a regular rectal rogering from your betrothed as and when he demands?
Bumslut: I do.
Priest: We now conclude the ceremony by explaining in graphic detail and diagram the foul, ungodly, unforgivable anal action which will tonight take place in Germaine's pink, pristine, virgin bumhole to her father.
Father: I might kill myself if you do that.
Me: Amen.
by Terry Deary August 28, 2006
Get the bumslut mug.Maw Parker: I got you steaks for dinner kids.
Kid #1: Cool.
Kid #2: There's hair on my beef!
(Other kids all snigger at the connotations)
Kid #1: Cool.
Kid #2: There's hair on my beef!
(Other kids all snigger at the connotations)
by Terry Deary June 2, 2005
Get the HairyBeef mug.by Terry Deary June 3, 2005
Get the willy-willy mug.