Telephony's definitions

bone crook

A bone crook is a dog who steals or hides a bone from other dogs in the household.
The bone crook is sneaky enough to pull off the crime without the other dogs knowing.

Murphy stole a big-ass ham bone from in front of the fireplace and stealthily skittered down the stairs with it without the other dogs' knowledge. When I looked for the bone, I had found that the bone crook ate the fucker!

by Telephony May 22, 2018

botheration

Effort, worry, or difficulty; bother.

Botheration! We still don't know who killed Ms. Hartt by bashing her head in with that big-ass lamp. My money though is on that fucking faggoty limp-wristed choreographer!

by Telephony May 28, 2018

cat piss house

A house that smells like cat pee even though there are no cats. The usual cause is that the occupants are cooking meth.

Don't go to that house down the street because it's a cat piss house!

by Telephony December 23, 2017

lovepot

A pet (such as a cat or dog) that displays an extraordinary degree of love to his/her owner. Such behaviours may include (but are not limited to) kissing, love nibbling, & head butting, (and for cats only) purring loudly and scent marking.

Coco is such a huge lovepot for head butting me, giving me Coco kisses, scent marking me as his, and giving me gentle little love nibbles.

by Telephony May 1, 2018

drivenf

How John Bush (at the time the singer for Anthrax pronounced the word, "driven" in the song, "Packaged Rebellion".
He also pronounced the word, "influence" as, "influencef".

♪ I don't want to how you're so drivenf ♪
♪ I don't want to know your influencef ♪
♪ I don't need to prove myself ♪
♪ I just need to be myself ♪
♪ It doesn't show how I'm trying to be ♪
♪ It just shows who I am ♪

by Telephony March 25, 2017

I Need to Hit the Head

A fake, phoney-bologna totally fictional jingle one might sing when they have to use the toilet or urinal.

{Sung to the tune of the nursery rhyme, "The Farmer in the Dell"}:

♫ I need to hit the head, ♫

♫ I need to hit the head, ♫
♫ Don't piss in the stereo ♫
♫ I need to hit the head! ♫

by Telephony April 6, 2017

diarrhea of the keyboard

Similar to the phrase diarrhea of the mouth, but done exclusively via computer.
A person afflicted with diarrhea of the keyboard may send frequent, very lengthy emails, post multiple very long daily updates to his or her blog or website, or clog up internet BBSs (forums (or even fora if you want to be an ass about it).

{Tony}: When you're a computer geek playing games and invading dungeons, Jethro just doesn't cut it.

{Abby}: This guy has diarrhea of the keyboard. His blog must be 1,000 pages long.

by Telephony April 25, 2017