Telephony's definitions

nasal tissue

What many people call facial tissue, such as Cleanax (Kleenex), Puffs, etc.
So called because it is usually used for blowing the nose; though on occasion they are used to wipe away eye boogers.

Hey Nora, be a dear and get me some nasal tissue please. I need to blow my schnoz!

by Telephony August 26, 2015

I Changed the Garbage

A little jingle sung to the tune of, "I Shot the Sheriff" that I made up back in 2006 or 2007.

♫ I changed the garbage, ♫
♫ And I took out the re-cy-cl-ing! ♫
♫ I changed the garbage, ♫
♫ And I took out the re-cy-cl-ing! ♫

by Telephony September 4, 2015

whizzer

Another name for one of those wall-mounted porcelain or stainless steel urinals.

Hey! Don't use that whizzer on the left because it shoots pee at your head when you flush the fucker!!!

by Telephony September 10, 2015

PHUQ

A version of the phrase, "fuck you" that can bypass the onboard censor in chatrooms, online BBSs (fora or forums), online games, etc.

You're an asshole!
Fucking jerk!
Eat shit!
PHUQ!

by Telephony September 27, 2015

Twenty Stick-Very-Twirly-Stick

What you can call the year 2016.

So-named because when viewed from above, it really does look like twenty (20) stick (1) very twirly stick (6).

{From a daily update to a BBS about wheelchairs & scooters}:

01-17-16 {or "2016 17 Jan.", or even "January 17, Twenty Stick-Very-Twirly-Stick" if you prefer}.
Just making my daily check-in from Tok AK. USA...my people (who live in Nicaragua) we have but one bunghole...er...uh...I mean I only have a sodding Cingular update planned for my website today...it concerns my having added an aerial video of flights of my Syma Fiery Dragon F1 Single-Rotor R/C Helicopter to my website.

by Telephony July 4, 2016

peecat

A cat that smells like pee because another cat pissed on the peecat while it was sleeping.

Fade is a peecat. I gently stroked his back and part of his tail and my hand smelled like cat piss.

by Telephony July 17, 2016

poo-poo spray

Any type of air deodorant / air freshener that comes in an aerosol bomb (spray can).

{Marge}: Homer, did you just leave a big fat shit in our toliet?
{Homer}: Yes dear, and I even remembered to flush!
{Marge}: The bathroom stinks to high heaven; next time please use the poo-poo spray, ok?

by Telephony July 30, 2016