Telephony's definitions

untruthful flexible container of feces

A polite way of saying the phrase, "lying sack of shit"; it can be used in typed text or spoken.

You claim that Linda stuffs Scottowels down the can?!?
Why Josh, you untruthful flexible container of feces!!!

by Telephony May 4, 2013

carafay

Carafay (pron. "\'KER-uh-fey"\): How some people pronounce the word, "carafe" (pron. "\kə-ˈRAF\") -- you know, like one of those glass coffeepots from a coffeemaker or a glass wine decanter.

Don't forget to douche out that carafay before you start a new pot of coffee!

by Telephony July 12, 2014

organic suspension of female bovine mammary compound

Plain and simple: milk.
Cow's milk is a liquid organic suspension that comes from a female cow's boobs.

Harry, can you please pick up a jug of organic suspension of female bovine mammary compound on your way home dear?

by Telephony April 12, 2015

battery hog

Another term for, "dry cell pig" -- that is, a battery-operated device that devours batteries like there's no tomorrow.

Man this radio is a real battery hog! I just put a new set of AA cells in there half an hour ago and they're already going down the tube!

by Telephony October 8, 2018

ass mallet

Another term for an asshole.

{Seen on a drone aerial video on YouTube}:

While I was flying the drone, I "heard" a jingle for Bob's Discount Furniture but with altered lyrics.
To wit:

♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics ♪
♪ From your βµṁ#Ø£€** to your ṕ€nµs

♪ Some ass mallet pee'd on a fembot!!! ♪
{~850ms pause}
♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics! ♪

by Telephony September 17, 2021

uronium

Chemical symbol: Un.
Atomic number 327.
An odoriferous brown substance that usually exists between the toliet seat hinges and the bowl.
Uronium may also appear around the bolts that hold the toliet to the floor.

Some people choose to ignore uronium; choosing instead to mask its unique odor with Glade® Plug-Ins® or Wizard™ aerosol.

by Telephony October 24, 2010

urnate

How some children pronounce the word urinate because they can not yet pronounce the 'yer' sound.

{six-year old Jason}: Daddy, can we stop the car? I have to urnate real bad!

by Telephony June 19, 2014