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Cosmic Babysitter

According to the Republicans, global warming is a non-issue because even if it's real, their Cosmic Babysitter will drop in and save them in the end. Yippeeeeee!
by Submitters of Words December 11, 2011
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Conservative Correctness

Contrary to popular conservative belief, political correctness is not a solely left-wing phenomenon.
Examples of conservative correctness:

frankfurters became "hot dogs" during world war I

french fries became freedom fries in 2003

David Horowitz's "Academic Bill of Rights"

attempts to "teach the controversy" by creationists in biology courses, and global warming deniers in environmental science courses

Any number of campaigns against plays or films, such as Life of Brian or Jesus Christ Superstar, on the grounds that they are "offensive to Christians;" conservative Catholic groups are particularly fond of this tactic

Encouragement of anti-gay activists to eschew the words "gay" and "homosexual" in favor of such phrases as "unnatural vice" and "anti-Christian"

Global warming deniers whining about being called "deniers." They prefer the term "skeptic."

"Enhanced interrogation techniques"

"Homicide bombing"

Atheist billboards are seen as insensitive to Christians.

Republicans changing the names of committees in the House of Representatives to change "labor" to "workforce" and remove any mention of "civil rights"

Free speech zones

The Dixie Chicks causing controversy by criticizing George Bush

ward churchill getting blasted to high heavens for insulting innocent americans (although this was definitely justified)

The whole fox news "war on christmas" nonsense

Conservatives are just as PC as liberals!
by Submitters of Words December 12, 2011
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politically correct (conservative)

Contrary to popular conservative belief, political correctness is not a solely left-wing phenomenon.
politically correct (conservative)

Examples of conservative correctness:

frankfurters became "hot dogs" during world war I

french fries became freedom fries in 2003

David Horowitz's "Academic Bill of Rights"

attempts to "teach the controversy" by creationists in biology courses, and global warming deniers in environmental science courses

Any number of campaigns against plays or films, such as Life of Brian or Jesus Christ Superstar, on the grounds that they are "offensive to Christians;" conservative Catholic groups are particularly fond of this tactic

Encouragement of anti-gay activists to eschew the words "gay" and "homosexual" in favor of such phrases as "unnatural vice" and "anti-Christian"

Global warming deniers whining about being called "deniers." They prefer the term "skeptic."

"Enhanced interrogation techniques"

"Homicide bombing"

Atheist billboards are seen as insensitive to Christians.

Republicans changing the names of committees in the House of Representatives to change "labor" to "workforce" and remove any mention of "civil rights"

Free speech zones

The Dixie Chicks causing controversy by criticizing George Bush

ward churchill getting blasted to high heavens for insulting innocent americans (although this was definitely justified)

The whole fox news "war on christmas" nonsense

Conservatives
are just as PC as liberals!
by Submitters of Words December 11, 2011
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Conservative Takeover

The incredible shift to the right this website is currently undergoing. Historically, most of the authors here have tended to lean left-wing or libertarian. But it's changing.

Evolution, an established scientific theory, is now ridiculed.

The front page for Liberal is now under attack by angry, frustrated right wingers.

Abortion has undergone similar attacks.

Don't even bother with the page for Barack Obama.

The liberals on this site need to wake up, we're getting buried.
Conservative Takeover

It's not all that bad, though. Global warming is now frequented more by people who know what the hell they're talking about. Pages like God and Bible are still clearly dominated by the non-religious too.
by Submitters of Words June 13, 2011
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Black and white thinkers

Conservatives. They tend to think largely in terms of absolutes. Now don't get me wrong, absolute values are important - by no means do I support moral relativism - but it's necessary to recognize the many shades of grey involved in individual cases too. That is, after all, what situational ethics is all about.
I suspect that many of the conservatives I've met don't recognize these gray areas largely because of their absolutist religious upbringing.

A few scenarios:
A nine year old girl, tragically, is raped and impregnated by her stepfather. What to do? According to the religious absolutist, abortion is, under all circumstances, 100% wrong. Unless the birth is life-threatening, she can't abort.

Moderate: I don't normally support abortion, but here it's necessary.
Liberal: I think abortion is a right that belongs to the mother. I would support her right to choose if this girl was nine or twenty nine, raped or non-raped. (although i would personally disapprove of it in the latter).
Conservative: Fucking baby killers! It's an innocent fucking BABY we're talking about!
(as opposed to a non-sentient cluster of cells, lacking a nervous system and the ability to feel pain)

I had a much better example but the stupid character limit fucked me over.

See my future definition, Conservative Black and White Thinking Disorder for that one.
I blame religion for turning so many conservatives into black and white thinkers.

And this is why I dislike religion - it so often stops people from thinking. If people were encouraged to think in terms of individual cases as opposed to coming to each and every unique situation with a preconceived bias (abortion is MURDER!)...well, I don't know. We might have a better world. Just maybe.
by Submitters of Words June 13, 2011
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Conservative Black and White Thinking Disorder

The tendency for conservatives to think largely in terms of black and white for every single issue on the planet. Mostly a result of an absolutist religious upbringing, I believe.

An example,

Bob, a 43 year old loving father of two, with a spotless criminal record, assaults a sixteen year old girl. Everyone is shocked and puzzled. When caught, he has a nervous breakdown and is put in a mental institution. There, he undergoes various tests and scans. Doctors discover a giant tumor in the part of the brain responsible for sexual activities.

They remove it via surgery, and he's back to normal again. There's no doubt about it - from similar cases we can see that tumors in that part of the brain drive normal men crazy. What to do?
Liberal: After having considered all the evidence, I don't see any point in incarcerating him. He's not a threat. I fucking hate worthless child molesters but he clearly can't be held responsible for this. Probation should do, just in case I'm wrong. (though i doubt it)

Moderate: The science involved certainly seems to indicate that he's not responsible for this disgusting deed. Given his prior record, he doesn't seem like a threat. Still, I'm not totally convinced. A year in prison maybe? More testing, in any case.

Conservative: Why the fuck are we even talking about this? Tumors don't do anything anyway, that's just a THEORY! Has everyone lost their fucking mind, he attacked a helpless child! Stone him to death! Oh wait, I forgot that we don't live in Afghanistan or Iran. Well in that case, give 'im the lethal injection. Shit, that's not allowed for non-murderers? SHIT! I swear, liberals are bleeding this fucking country dry! DEATH TO LIBERALS!!! *waves rebel flag*

Conservative Black and White Thinking Disorder is a major problem in the US, sadly. Mostly as a result of religious faith.

For another example, see black and white thinkers.
by Submitters of Words June 13, 2011
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Super Fucking Obnoxious 1500 Character Limit

I've seen definitions 10,000 "characters" long, but for some reason we're restricted to only 1500 now. Which sucks.
The Super Fucking Obnoxious 1500 Character Limit is the worst thing to happen to this site in a long time... some definitions are meant to be long, people!
by Submitters of Words June 13, 2011
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