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Stuart Fletcher's definitions

Cleaning the pipes

Anglo-American slang term used to describe the act of mastubation in order to empty one's testicles of a thick, fat, juicy load of baby-batter in order to start a newer batch.
Or, in the case of the film 'There's Something About Mary,' the theory that "cleaning your pipes" will steady your nerves before a date because your body will not think you are trying to have sex because you will have tricked it into thinking you have done already...
"Percy spent two hours cleaning his pipes because he hadn't shot his load for four days."

"Hey Gordon, you should clean your pipes before seeing Jennifer tonight, it'll steady your nerves."
by Stuart Fletcher November 3, 2004
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Baby Batter

<noun> British slang
Male ejaculate, semen, penile ejecta, a bomb-load of jizz.

Seeing as sperm is the cause of 99.9% of pregnancies - resulting in babies - it was only a matter of time before someone made the connection between sperm and babies and formed the phrase Baby batter as a metaphor for come/cum.

See also Baby Gravy
"Jasper fired his 6oz load of baby batter into Margaret's face, and she supped it up like a glass of warm, creamy milk."
by Stuart Fletcher November 3, 2004
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Plaster of Penis

British slang
Yet another coined term meaning the contents of the testicles.
However "plaster of penis" is usually too wordy to actually thread into a sentence and so is never often used as a metaphor for come/cum.
"Fredrick the novelist was having enormous trouble including 'Plaster of Penis' into his pornographic literature, as it spoiled the rhythm of his sentence structure."
"Father MacDougall made a tissue sculpture using plaster of penis as his glue."
by Stuart Fletcher November 3, 2004
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Metal

A vast music genre which can house, and satisfy all of the theraputic needs of any teenage spirit. Penetrating riffs, sub-level bass playing, ubercool machine gun drumming and in many cases beautiful lyrics.
Metal has the potential to cover any emotion, unlike other genres such as Emo, which can only cover whining, and loss.
Metal is emotion, motion, melody and RAW FUCKING POWER!!! All blended into one creamy mixture of aceness which in my eye, can rarely be matched by any other genre.
Metal Guy, "I'm totally satisfied listening to this."

Emo kid, "Boo hoo..."
by Stuart Fletcher November 3, 2004
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Jap's eye

British slang <n> (Offensive)
The only externally visible part of the urethra on a male where semen and urine is secreted from the body.
Known as a 'Jap's eye' due to the similarity between the shape of the stereotypical Japanese eye and that the opening on the penis is much like a slit.
Although the phrase is not used in a directly racist manner, people of Far Eastern origin may take offence to the use of the term.
"Jeremy inserted a drill bit into his Jap's eye and proceeded to utterly maim himself."
by Stuart Fletcher November 3, 2004
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No man's land

<noun> British slang

1) The area between two opposing forces' trenches during WW1. Characterised by a quagmire of saturated soil, crater holes, barbed wire, unexploded shells, quicksoil and rotting bodies. The last place on Earth you'd want to be in the period between 1914-1918, or for some time afterwards I'd imagine...

2) The area between your ballsack and your arsehole.
"Sgt. Harris was caught out in No-Mans-Land yesterday during a patrol. He's been pronounced Missing in Action... But I think we all know what really happened to him..."

"I love scratchin' mi' No Man's Land, *guffaw guffaw.*"
by Stuart Fletcher November 3, 2004
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Saved By The Bell

"Saved by the Bell"

1) A situation where someone is in a situation which they dislike, and then something external to that situation happens which, subsequently, gets the person in that situation out of it. Usually just in time.

2) Cheesy 80's sitcom based in an All-American High School setting.
1)
BOSS: "Miranda, after you've filed those reports I gave you, I want you to come into my office and lick my scrotum."
MIRANDA: "But Sir, I'm on overtime alrea--"
BOSS: "DON'T ARGUE WITH ME, BITCH."
<enter; boss's boss>
BOSS'S BOSS: "BOSS, I'd like to see you in my office, please."
<exit; boss and boss's boss>
MIRANDA: "Phew, 'saved by the bell' I guess."

2)
GEEK: "Hey Jeremy, wanna come to my house after school n watch 'Saved by the Bell'?"
JEREMY: "Fuck you, geek. My dick has an appointment with my girlfriend's throat. Seeya!"
by Stuart Fletcher November 6, 2004
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