Space Wrangler's definitions

Store

A generally shitty and lifeless place where people usually wait in line to exchange their money for products ("goods"). The employees are enslaved by stores, as they are forced by societal problems to count the money all day in exchange for a meager percentage of the profit generated from these transactions. At stores, objects ("goods") are usually not free, as they are available only in exchange for customers' money and not just for the taking. If you take something without giving money ("paying"), you will most likely eventually end up either dead, in jail/prison, possibly even tackled or in a fistfight, and with a criminal record preventing you from getting one of these shitty money-counting jobs that keep stores functioning, depending on what you shoplift, how often you do it, and how much you take.

Person 1: Sally & I are going to the store
Person 2: Don't forget your wallet
Person 1: No need for that, we're shoplifting
Person 2: I'm calling the police

Person 1 runs

by Space Wrangler July 22, 2021

Christmas in July

When Christian and Catholic hypocrites people come together at the tail end of July to defy the teachings of their Lord Jesus by selling shit.

Here is why Christmas in July violates what is written about Jesus in The Bible:

Matthew 21:12 (King James Version)

"And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves."

Although the scenery of being in a house of worship differs, the concept remains the same: selling shit in Jesus' name. Call it a sale, call it a discount fest, whatever, but definitely don't fucking call it Christmas in July; Jesus wasn't born until December so stop fucking it up.

by Space Wrangler July 25, 2021

Anniversary

Just another dumb ass quasi-holiday that you're forced to remember, recognize, and celebrate or else you won't get a blowjob that night.

"God damnit I fucking forgot to get her chocolate on our Anniversary today shit I'm totally fucked."

by Space Wrangler July 29, 2021

Chintzer

Someone who is only cares about money and prioritizes it over the work that they do. Stems from "Chintzy", which means cheap or stingy. Similar to a shyster, a chintzer will be quick to collect the full payment but your roof will be falling apart in no time.

I shouldn't have trusted that chintzer with my gutters, he charged me up the ass and they're still clogged.

by Space Wrangler August 31, 2021

Psych Ward

Prison with mandatory poisonous drugs and "therapy".

I told my teacher to eat shit and die so they said I was crazy, had me evaluated in the psych ward where I couldn't even go outside. Eventually I had to agree to swallow their "medications", which were really pharmaceutical drugs in disguise. After my evaluation I returned to school and I told my teacher it was all her fault and I hope her pension falls through because she doesn't deserve it.

by Space Wrangler August 27, 2021

Scheduling

What idiots try to do who don't understand and take heed to the classic idiom "Man Plans and God Laughs". If you don't understand this phrase, it means there's no use in trying to plan out your life, because invariably there will always be things beyond anybody's control which will destroy the plans you tried to make. Scheduling is a popular thing that these idiots try to do. They literally carry around these little bags with their belongings, among which is their "planner", as they attempt to set dates and times for when something has to happen, and in the process they make themselves less free and less available date by date until all of their time has been willingly stolen from them and they are on a self-imposed schedule.

"Let's talking scheduling...can you do Friday November 15th at 3:30 PM?"
"Well I was going to try and get out early so I could get drunk and high and enjoy my weekend."
"Riiiight, but I need to talk to you about important matters at that date and time, and it's the only date and time around that time that I can."
"Fine I understand."
"Oh wait, I'm sorry, I have a business meeting at that time, can we do 4:30?"

by Space Wrangler August 20, 2021

seen some shit

When something or someone has "seen some shit", it vaguely means that something or someone might have gone through trouble in the past, in which said experience could result in wisdom.

I got my bike used. It was cheap but it's probably seen some shit.

by Space Wrangler April 10, 2017