Space Wrangler's definitions

Action Figure

A doll for boys (and sometimes even grown men, no joke). Don't ever let anyone try to fool you that action figures aren't dolls. There's no real difference besides the title.

"I'm looking for a Han Solo Action Figure"
"Oh so you're an adult who plays with dolls huh?"
"I SAID ACTION FIGURE!!! IT'S NOT A DOLL!!!!!"
"Okay, would you also like a Princess Leia doll to go with Han?"
"STFU!!!!!!"

by Space Wrangler July 31, 2021

The Bridge

Station on the Sirius XM radio network that makes you want to jump off a bridge, as aptly titled. They play only the worst music from the 60's and 70's from artists who might have been popular at a time, but have degenerated to "has-been" status for the most part.

"After a long day of work and listening to this cheese on The Bridge, I think I'm going to jump off of the bridge tonight. At least I won't have to work tomorrow and hear it again."

by Space Wrangler August 3, 2021

Crickets

Something you say after a long and awkward silence. If something is silent, you would be able to hear crickets chirping, hence the phrase.

Guy: So when's the big day??
Woman: What are you talking about?
Guy: Oh you're not pregnant?

Dead silence.

Guy 2: Crickets

by Space Wrangler August 5, 2021

The Schedule

The Schedule is an oppressive form of authority that forcefully presides over your life. Most people have to be on some sort of a schedule. People in prison have it really rough in terms of the schedule, students in school are under the oppressive tyranny of the schedule, and people at work are forced to abide by the schedule. It's very rare that someone won't be required to follow a schedule. Sometimes wealthy adults get to not have to follow a schedule.

What the schedule is is a list of times and places you have to be. It is literally the radical opposite of freedom. Some people willingly attempt to plan out their lives, which invariably results in having a schedule. People like me are aware of it and avoid schedules at any and all costs. At work I have to follow a schedule, but when I'm off, I'm free. To hell with the schedule. Imagine, blocks of time where you legally are required to be OR ELSE, even if you DON'T WANT TO. It's essentially slavery.

Bottom Line: Never plan shit out if you aren't required to. You will be sorry. If you are in school, you'll be free eventually. If you are at work, you might be getting off soon. Stand tough, burn the schedule.

At Graduation:

Jill: So Bill where are you going to college?
Bill: North University, you?
Jill: Foxcreek. Now that we've graduated and don't have to follow the schedule, do you want to set it on fire with me?
Bill: Sure Jill! Let's burn the schedule!

by Space Wrangler August 6, 2021

Yacht Rock Radio

If you thought The Bridge on Sirius XM was trash, this is their latest attempt at siphoning millions from the Satellite Radio system into the ultra-rich baby boomer's pockets. Their tagline is something to the extent of "If you're rich enough, you don't need a job." Probably while they snort cocaine and drink expensive booze on their yachts. I hope they get so intoxicated they can't steer, then ram their yacht into an iceberg and sink like the fucking titanic, then maybe drown.

"You're listening to YACHT ROCK RADIO, why call it working from home if you're so rich you don't need a job?"

by Space Wrangler August 20, 2021

Scheduling

What idiots try to do who don't understand and take heed to the classic idiom "Man Plans and God Laughs". If you don't understand this phrase, it means there's no use in trying to plan out your life, because invariably there will always be things beyond anybody's control which will destroy the plans you tried to make. Scheduling is a popular thing that these idiots try to do. They literally carry around these little bags with their belongings, among which is their "planner", as they attempt to set dates and times for when something has to happen, and in the process they make themselves less free and less available date by date until all of their time has been willingly stolen from them and they are on a self-imposed schedule.

"Let's talking scheduling...can you do Friday November 15th at 3:30 PM?"
"Well I was going to try and get out early so I could get drunk and high and enjoy my weekend."
"Riiiight, but I need to talk to you about important matters at that date and time, and it's the only date and time around that time that I can."
"Fine I understand."
"Oh wait, I'm sorry, I have a business meeting at that time, can we do 4:30?"

by Space Wrangler August 20, 2021

Positivity

Buzzword for people who are afraid to criticize others or things they don’t agree with/challenge the status quo. Not to be confused with optimism.

Please be polite and remember always be super positive! If you have something that’s not nice to say, just keep it to yourself! Positivity everyone!!! (Said with a lisp)

by Space Wrangler August 23, 2021