Space Wrangler's definitions

Tighter than a crab's ass

This is an insulting and derogatory description for somebody who is very, very cheap. It's believed that crab's asses are rather compact, so someone tighter than a crab's ass is about as selfish/cheap/greedy as it gets.

Jake: Bill by the way, what did you leave our waiter?
Bill: 15%.
Jake: Christ Bill you're tighter than a crab's ass. I have to stop eating with you if you're going to embarrass me like that again in public. That poor waiter worked his ass off you cheap fuck.

by Space Wrangler August 24, 2021

Bench

Governmentally sanctioned places of public seating.

Person 1: Look at Rover he just pissed on that bench!!!
Person 2: My taxes!!!! Not my taxes!!!! My taxes have been urinated upon!!!!!

by Space Wrangler July 14, 2021

Emo

Stupid subculture centered around glorification of sadness/hopelessness with a strong emphasis on tight sweaters/hoodies, thick horn-frame black eyeglasses, mascara/eyeliner on men, among other wack and unfashionable choices. These people are not to be trusted since they're going to self-destruct when the sun goes down and they would rather slash their wrists over the lack of light than flick the fucking switch and be able to see (or in some extreme cases change the light bulb). If they're ever going to show courage and be optimistic, it's always too sentimental and will eventually invariably revert to boo-hoo woe is me woe is the world crying and dying.

Their name stems from "emotional", literally. Nothing wrong with emotions, but these people take it to the Nth degree and are generally unstable.

"Dear Diary,

We are emo, we are beautiful. Life is beautiful...but it makes me cry. Sometimes I get bored and apathetic, maybe I'll cut my wrists again to lament on my artistic struggle and search for an understanding of my endless emotions in this dark void we call life. I guess I'll go check and see if my younger sister's pants will fit me. Hopefully she won't notice, but who cares if she does? Who cares about anything? Nothing matters. I'm going to go cry some more."

by Space Wrangler August 28, 2021

The Blend

Without question the worst radio station in the history of broadcasting. Known for playing shit-pop 24/7 such as Pink, Camilla Cabello, Bruno Mars, Shawn Mendes, and other equally shitty singers, with some one hit wonders from the 80's like Cyndi Lauper and others who suck so hard they don't even deserve to be mentioned. If you're forced to listen to this station at work, you have my honest and heartfelt sympathy. If you listen to this station on your own time, there's something seriously wrong with you and the world at large needs less of your kind.

"Oh my God, not "Senorita" again!!! The Blend played this four times already yesterday!!!! Noooooo!!!!! Don't do this to us Sirius XM!!!!!!!"

by Space Wrangler June 30, 2021

Weak Salsa

Much like Weak Sauce, this is just a spicier way of acknowledging that something sucks.

"Pitchfork dissed The Mars Volta again? Weak salsa."

by Space Wrangler December 26, 2007

Money

The root of all evil. You should hold money in contempt; all it does is create endless problems. If you do happen to be sensible and know this already, don't let people know that you hate money because you will be judged for it, considering the fact that most people worship money and always want more of it, regardless of how much they currently have.

Money dictates your quality of life. If you have more of it, you are able to have nicer things because you can afford more without having to shoplift. Money is an evil system that only exploits people and destroys good things. Money also creates an unwanted paradox as well, because even if you hate it, it is virtually impossible to live without it, so you really can't just stop using it out of the blue. Society forces you to use it.

Money controls every aspect of society. People literally do what they don't want to do in exchange for a little bit of it, unwillingly; it's essentially slavery.

Although she works regularly, she does not have enough money to for food, hygiene, housing, and a vehicle. If money did not exist, she would be rich.

by Space Wrangler July 22, 2021

Marketing

Marketing is really what spam should be called, as they are essentially synonymous. Any fraudulent e-mails you get, marketing. Any unwanted phone calls from third world countries disguised as local numbers calling to inform you that you've won an all inclusive vacation in the Bahamas? Marketing. The reason marketing isn't called spam is because marketing is actually considered to be a real major in college/post-collegiate studies, and it's all based on bullshit. You couldn't have some fancy college with a "Spam" major. Never trust someone who majors in marketing, or even whose job/career is based on marketing, as these people would swindle their own mother for a quick buck.

Today I turned on my computer, went to check my e-mail, and I found 13 new marketing e-mails in my spam folder.

by Space Wrangler July 6, 2021