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Definitions by Soup Kitchen Sammy

Colonial Shower

A deeply humbling, character-building experience in which your hot water heater betrays you, forcing you to abandon all modern dignity and bathe using bowls, pots, or a sad plastic container—like a disgraced aristocrat in 1776.

Typically involves standing half-naked in your own bathroom, questioning your life choices while pouring lukewarm water over yourself one cup at a time and pretending this is somehow “fine.”

Bonus points if you whisper things like, “This builds resilience,” while shivering.
“My water heater died and now I’m taking colonial showers like I just got off the Mayflower.”

Captain cap off

The act of a man capping off an orgasm with a thumb, for 2 or 3 seconds, then releasing the pressurized coom. The captain part is if the ropes are more than 3.
Hey bud, did you bring home the slampig from the bar? You think you’re going to pull a captain cap off?

Sacramento Scrambler 

The act of inserting an uncracked egg in a girls anus then proceeding to have anal sex, cracking the egg and scrambling it simultaneously.
I want to try something different. Chester the chicken just spat out a couple of eggs. Would you like to try a Sacramento Scrambler?

Alabama Pigroast

When one guy is having sex with a woman doggy style, and the other guy is getting a blow job from the front. The two guys proceed to arm wrestle on the woman's back while actively engaged in sex
I won the alabama pigroast last week against my buddy Ebenezer

Southern Maryland Stuffed Ham 

The act of when 2 males are stuffing a SOMD slampig with various foods during sexual intercourse. The SOMD principal of "If it has a hole it has a goal" applies, the bigger the quantity of items stuffed, the better outcome.
Hey bro, I met this 350 pounder at Toots. She said she wanted to try something crazy. I'm on my way to your place with the Buffet Buster Susan to get a Southern Maryland stuffed ham going

Reno Rattler 

A Reno Rattler is the act of when an individual sticks the tail end of a rattle snake up their anus. As the snake crawls up the rectum, the sound of the rattle of the snake becomes muffled, emulating a typical desert night in Reno.
Hey man, I'm coming over tonight, did you want me to bring pete the python? I was hoping to partake in a Reno Rattler

miracle slip 

Miracle slip is when a man is having vaginal intercourse with a woman and mid thrust the penis accidently enters the rectum.
Sorry baby, didnt mean for that miracle slip to happen