Solid mantis's definitions

Lance Ballinstrong

A 5 foot nothing guy who plays basketball with one kidney.

Lance Ballinstrong at a bar- Ladies, I am five feet tall and I have only one kidney left ever since I left the bar one night with with this one girl. My coach calls me five foot nothing. If my team needs someone to dunk the ball, they pass it to me, since nobody expects me to be able to do it and I shock the other team every time.

by Solid Mantis January 13, 2021

Poser

The fresh, streetwise girl from Dunwoody.

She was a poser that for some reason, people seemed to respect.

by Solid Mantis April 21, 2021

Playboy

A magazine made for childr3n by children with more money than the children that buy it.

He/she calls herself a playboy bunny. Why would anyone look at his/her picture with a straight face.

by Solid Mantis April 27, 2021

Selfie stick

What several million years of human evolution and advances in technology gave you.

It wasn't so long ago that people just had sticks, fast forward a few millennia and with a selfie stick you can take a picture of your friends eyeball from any distance or angle, or you can take a picture of human faces. That's pretty weird, but people are pretty weird what do you expect.

by Solid Mantis June 15, 2018

Autoerotic bolito

What Caine from Kung Fu died of.

Caine started jerking off, then put the bolito around his own neck just before he was about to get off to see if it would be more intense, and ended up losing part of the hand he jerked off with trying to keep the wire from slicing his carotid artery and jugular vein, along with his head eventually, before the bolito stopped. It might have been a different kind of intense experience for him. He was the first person to ever try the autoerotic bolito, and was actually successful in the sense that the bolito did what it was supposed to do.

by Solid Mantis February 27, 2021

Crabs

Wounded bird hunters.

The crabs proceeded to surround the wounded bird and call the squirrel meeting. They picked the perfect spot so the bird's girl could see.

by Solid Mantis December 3, 2020

Victory

There is no such thing as victory over the coronavirus, there is only the end of losing everything. If nobody takes a stand, everybody falls back in line.

The end of the coronavirus won't be a victory, it will only be an end to the loss of life, businesses, jobs, and rights. An end to the spread of (and fuel for) the wildfire.

by Solid Mantis April 27, 2021