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Sir Carlton's definitions

Oonie

The vagina; this dates back at least to 1990, the Golden Girls episode Blanche Delivers in which Sophia comes up with the euphemism oonie.
Not to be confused with Ooni, a brand of portable wood pellet pizza ovensProbably coincidental in that Sophia is Sicilian and Ooni makes a pizza oven, but the brand name has its roots in Africa.
Dorothy: Ma, you know you're really hurting my feelings.

Sophia: Not as much as you hurt my oonie!
by Sir Carlton March 16, 2025
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Smut

Sexually explicit content. It can be stories, porn, tv shows and movies, with varying degrees of sexual content. It is a pretty subjective term. People may disagree on whether a mild innuendo constitutes smut or not. But over time mild content was considered less and less smutty. But hardcore pornography and x rated movies remain smutty. In high school, and you may joke if you want, I was offended by ancient Greco Roman statues in the history books and called it smut. The teacher said it was not. The word smut in this definition was attested to in 1983 in the tv show Mama's Family. Main character Thelma, (Vicki Lawrence) didn't approve of smut and used the term in the first episode and periodically throughout the series run. However it can be seen in later episodes she still frowns on it but no longer got so offended by very mild content.
Well how did this smut get into my house? You most certainly can not you're far too young to be reading that smut...
...it isn't smut Thelma. The section the child read was taken totally out of context...
...if I'd have known that trash was being written up in that studio I would've put a stop to it a long time ago.
by Sir Carlton October 25, 2023
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green warrant

TDO or temporary detention order. Green warrant was used in parts of the US of A for when a person, perhaps because of a psychiatric disturbance, posed a threat to oneself or others and it is an order for involuntary admission to a psychiatric institution, or as some might say, a hoo hoo hotel.
That guy needs to be green warranted. He belongs in the hoo hoo hotel.
by Sir Carlton January 15, 2024
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Hepatittis of the cunt

Refers to hepatitis in general. It is an antiquated expression of obscure origin. It's not well known what the cud part is. It seems very out of place. Indeed, HEPA means liver. Hepatitis is an inflammation of the liver, not any kind of genitals. However, it can be sexually transmitted. So that loosely connects it to the word cunt. The additional T in hepatittis is a mispronunciation by lay people who weren't well versed in medical terms. So what is known about the expression is that there were at least two drifts from its original form. Indeed it was like a game of telephone. Now it is regarded as a very shocking phrase using the word cunt. What's more, it makes no distinction about a person's gender. Men and women alike can contract hepatittis of the cunt
I cannot go in that public bathroom. The toilets are filthy. That'll give you hepatittis of the cunt.
by Sir Carlton January 17, 2024
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Gobbledygook

Nonsense talk, meaningless language, something said or written in an overly complex, incomprehsible or incoherent way.

Apparently the first known attestation was in a memo by US Representative (Texas) Maury Maverick dated March 30, 1944, banning "gobbledygook language". Apparently coined in imitation of the sounds made by a turkey.
Mr. Maury Maverick was, incidentally, the grandson of lawyer and politician Samuel Maverick, whose behaviour regarding his cattle inspired the term maverick ("offbeat").
The date of the memo is also interesting, because it was four days following the birth of illustrious diva Diana Ross.
Another noteworthy use of the term gobbledygook was in Judge Judy's 60 Minutes interview in 1993, before she got her own show. She said that people who do the right thing are not afraid of her, saying that they are afraid if they come in and do the routine thing, which is to give her a lot of rhetoric and gobbledygook. It is therefore, quite possible, that the word may have been heard on the original Judge Judy, and possibly Judy Justice. Judge Judy was also born 1942, making her a baby whenever Maverick used the term gobbledygook in the aforementioned memorandum.
Don't give me your fancy rhetoric and gobbledygook!
by Sir Carlton October 26, 2022
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Porty

Porta john. A term which is thought to be very recently coined. It sounds like a British slang. However it is Southern in this definition, supposedly originating in Richmond Virginia.
I can't stand using a porty. It smell horrendous. And in summer it's so hot that along with the smell may choke one to death in 30 seconds.
by Sir Carlton October 16, 2020
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The Big One

A real or imagined heart attack that a person experiences usually suddenly in response to a sudden distress or excitement. Originating from Redd Foxx's character Fred Sanford on the TV show Sanford and Son. Fred would clutch his torso with one hand, and extend his other arm out and usually exclaim as it's written in the example below, or some slight variation.

It's not a far cry from the expression to bite the big one meaning to die.
It's The Big One! Ya hear that, Elizabeth? I'm coming ta join ya honey!
by Sir Carlton May 26, 2025
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