bapjizm

The act of baptising a girlfriend, wife, fuck buddy (daughter's?) breast or "baps" region with god's sticky nectar.
PATRICK:I say, did you hear that Tom Baker and Lalla Ward were married in the early 1980s?

SPONGEBOB: No. Bet she got a few bapjizm s off that ex monk ex Time Lord kick ass old dude, who's still on Little Britain.

PATRICK: Sphincter.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish July 25, 2009
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trouser cake

A well baked collection of turds which emantes from the anus between six and twelve hours after comestible consumption.
Exactly the same as 'Ass Gravy', 'Balloon-Knot Chutney' and 'Ass Hole Jam' but spelt completely differently.
1:) He saw Shannon Matthews Mum and made trouser cake.
2:) Pornstars never ever have it.
3:) Bradley Pitt's acting abilities.
4:) Britney's career after she went fuck crazy
5:) The average Wii Sports Golf Score
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 16, 2008
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mingsane

The exact word to describe the level of non sanity of Ming the Merciless from the Flash Gordon universe.

Why any hero would be named after an all purpose cleaner is beyond me.
After Ming was impaled on Flash's ship in the 1980s movie of the same name, as Flash.

Dale: You just impaled him with that spaceship!

Flash: Yeah, I know. I kick ass don't I?

Dale: That Ming was mad.

Flash: Yeah, you could say he was 'Mingsane'

Dale: Oh Flash, you're so funny.

Flash: I know. Shall we make out and laugh at Brian Blessed's pants?

Dale: Oh yes please, then I'd like to recieve your seed, on top of that spiky spinning platform thing where that dude's eyes popped out.

Flash: Yeah. I'm great aren't I? I play football.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish February 17, 2009
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bend a quack

Bending over when releasing a giant fart.
MAN#1: Look at that old lady, I bet she's going to bend a quack

MAN#2: No she's not, she just picking up her car keys.

OLD LADY: Excuse me young man, where are the toilets? I've just shat meself on account of the quack I just bent.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 25, 2010
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Fissedasapartman

Some drunken idiot who thinks he's a superhero and tries to wrestle the dustbins outside his own house.
A true 'Fissedasapartman' is identified as a man who loses the fight to his bins and or wakes up next to his bins,
covered in catshit and in the nip with a banana wedged in his butt cheeks. (Put there by kind-meaning neighbours.)
1)A Fissedasapartman is any male/semi-male from any city / town / hovel North,South,East or West, out on the town around four in the morning to be found trying to chat up a cigarette machine and pulling said device.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish December 05, 2007
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Doctor Poo

Popular euphemism for 'I'm going to go do Doctor Poo.'
Other meanings of Doctor Poo are as follows,
Dropping the kids off at the pool
Shaking hands with Tom Titt
Choking a dark demon
Doing Ertha Kitt
My arse was just sick
Talking to god on the porcelain telephone
and the best one...
emailing your boss's letterbox with a dirty attachment.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 20, 2008
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Brittlebitch

A disease (or Poorme condition) that stuck up rich bitches get. They are usually a friend but never fancy you, who is always falling down,getting into fights, crashing her car, breaking bones to get attention because her life is so boring being married to the richest, limpcocked bastard she could find, or having great parents who give her everything.
1) Paris.
2) Nicole.
3) Kathy.
4) Pink sang a song about them stupid, stupid girls.
5) A Brittlebitch is usually any blonde girl who does her homework/job on Wikipedia & drives a Smart Car.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish December 05, 2007
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