Definitions by ShutUpImMe

Depression 

Four words: Crash Bandicoot in Fucklanders

I hate depression.

Depression by ShutUpImMe June 14, 2016

Dragon Land 

A mobile game that actually could've lived up to the standards of a Spyro successor that we should've been getting after the fuckery that's Skylanders and Activision's greed, but NOOOO. Socialpoint seems so stuck up on making the game for themselves and ONLY for themselves! Dragon Land gets the most bs updates that somehow make Ubisoft golden in comparison -- updates that make each episode shorter, updates that move levels to episodes you have to unlock with gems (the bs mobile kind), and updates that force half-day level-up times for when you max out your dragon -- all for the sake of "improvement." I don't know what's worse anymore - Skylanders, the game that fucked up one of PlayStation's rising stars, or this game, the game that could no longer make itself a good Spyro game if it tried.

Spyro: "You done fucked up, Dragon Land. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL FREE, NOT FEEL THE BURN!"

Dragon Land by ShutUpImMe June 7, 2016

Cities: Skylines 

A game that's better than SimCity 2013 (without the disasters, unfortunately).

Fran: "Yo, the new SimCity game was so fucked up."
Sheen: "Yeah, that's why I got Cities: Skylines."

Cities: Skylines by ShutUpImMe June 6, 2016

Gran Turismo 

Literally the only PlayStation game left from the PS1 days.

Tyler: "There's still no new Crash Bandicoot."
Dresher: "We still got Gran Turismo."
Tyler: "IT AIN'T THE SAME WITHOUT THE REST OF THE PS1 GANG!"

Gran Turismo by ShutUpImMe June 5, 2016

Asphalt 

1. Road Tarmac
2. The best darn racing game on mobile AND the Apple TV, even if it is a Need for Speed knockoff.

Let's burn some rubber on the Asphalt!

Asphalt by ShutUpImMe June 5, 2016

Toys R Us 

A good place to shop or work if you want to have nightmares as an adult.

TV: "Buy a new Skylanders game and get two free Skylanders, but only if you buy from Toys R Us, where --"

SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! *burns TV down*

Toys R Us by ShutUpImMe June 5, 2016

Real Racing 

The best racing sim on mobile. Unfortunately, the third game has been getting more ads in order to let players skip its "Free to Play" wait times.

"I feel like a real racer in Real Racing -- aaaand, now I have to watch ads to repair my car quick." -_-

Real Racing by ShutUpImMe June 4, 2016