Definitions by Shepherd Guy
Employee Half-Life
The Employee Half-Life of a workplace is the amount of time it takes for half of a new batch of employees to quit.
An EHL of less than three months is generally regarded as a bad sign in business.
An EHL of less than three months is generally regarded as a bad sign in business.
When I first joined Acme Industries, there were five other new employees with me. After about six weeks, only three of us remained, including myself. So Acme Industries has an Employee Half-Life of about six weeks.
Employee Half-Life by Shepherd Guy April 9, 2025
Roastaurant
One of those restaurants where the staff makes fun of you the entire time. Expect one uninterrupted hour of jokes about the size of your manhood, various inappropriate relations between you and other party members, and any physical defect you’ve brought into the building.
Roastaurant by Shepherd Guy March 16, 2025
CheatGPT
CheatGPT by Shepherd Guy March 14, 2025
Microsoft Product
Any product that is poorly designed, easy to hack, bloated, annoying to use, laggy, full of unwanted features, or prone to frequent malfunction.
Not always necessarily a Microsoft product or even any kind of software.
Not always necessarily a Microsoft product or even any kind of software.
“Sorry I’ll be a little late to the meeting, Teams is being a Microsoft product again.”
“That new game I got off Steam last month crashed five times while I was trying to play it. What a Microsoft product.”
“My new bike’s frame has already started to bend and break like the Microsoft product it is.”
“That new game I got off Steam last month crashed five times while I was trying to play it. What a Microsoft product.”
“My new bike’s frame has already started to bend and break like the Microsoft product it is.”
Microsoft Product by Shepherd Guy March 14, 2025
Paul Arc
A Paul Arc is when you’re single and using that time for growth. It could mean self improvement, growing in faith, working out more, breaking addictions, or starting a business.
Named after the Apostle Paul, who was single for his entire life. Rather than fretting about it, he used the spare time to help the early church grow and urged young men to do the same.
Named after the Apostle Paul, who was single for his entire life. Rather than fretting about it, he used the spare time to help the early church grow and urged young men to do the same.
Jack and Chad both got dumped around the same time. Jack spent the whole year moping about and whining about it, and is still single to this day.
Chad took a different approach: he went on his Paul Arc. He got on a workout routine, started reading his Bible every day, started a business selling nutritional supplements, and got married about five years later.
Chad took a different approach: he went on his Paul Arc. He got on a workout routine, started reading his Bible every day, started a business selling nutritional supplements, and got married about five years later.
Paul Arc by Shepherd Guy December 16, 2024
Aerith-Hinawa Principle
The Aerith-Hinawa Principle states that in a video game where you’re allowed to pick names for your characters, you should never name them after your loved ones. Named after two of the most traumatizing character deaths in video game history: Aerith from Final Fantasy VII, and Hinawa from Mother 3. A lot of people named these two after people they loved, and it only made their deaths that much worse.
Lucas: For my first Nuzlocke run, I’m naming all of my Pokémon after my closest friends!
Cloud: Please reconsider. I take it you’re unfamiliar with the Aerith-Hinawa Principle?
Cloud: Please reconsider. I take it you’re unfamiliar with the Aerith-Hinawa Principle?
Aerith-Hinawa Principle by Shepherd Guy December 6, 2024
Sola Fido
Dominic: Been feeling kinda down lately; my dog passed away.
Roger: It’s ok. The doctrine of Sola Fido states that all dogs go to heaven.
Roger: It’s ok. The doctrine of Sola Fido states that all dogs go to heaven.
Sola Fido by Shepherd Guy November 22, 2024