SIMON's definitions

jiffle

An Illicit Snog

Andy Jiffled her outside the club whilst his friends looked for him inside.

A jiffle is kissing someone so no-one can see you, or in a "Sly" Manner.

You cannot jiffle someone you are going out with

by Simon February 24, 2003

Stray Dave

A stubborn turd that remains floating in the bowl after the flush.
Has the same bouyancy as a piece of cork or polystyrene.
Usually found at work or in public toilets

ahh gawd! Who's left a Stray Dave in trap 1?

by Simon December 5, 2003

pubic wig

A pubic wig is a Merkin as opposed to the other defintion which appears to be a spelling mistake.

Merkins are worn on stage for nude scenes and have a very long history, being mentioned in the OED in the 17th Century

by Simon April 4, 2003

chaco

slang for vagina, evoking both chaunch and meat taco

Jennifer Lopez has a well oiled chaco.

by Simon November 16, 2004

Whipping or whippin the skippy

To masturbate, stroke one's cock.

Rosewood was not doing his job. Instead, his boss caught him whipping the skippy to pictures of Britney.

by Simon October 15, 2004

Winnets

Small lumps of faeces from animal, especially rabbits. Also what is formed when a chug nut breaks up

Don't eat them, they are winnets, not M&Ms

by Simon April 15, 2003

Strangle Kojak

when a guy is alone he might want some love - no girls around he'll have to strangle Kojak.
see masturbate

"hey honey im going out for a while"
"alright time to get out my playboy and Strangle Kojak"

by simon June 18, 2006