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Definitions by Running Out of Patience

silkworm 

A man who has difficulty achieving an erection without wearing some article of women's clothing is sometimes referred to as a "silkworm."
"My new boyfriend is rich and handsome, but he is a closet silkworm."

iowa girls

These tend to be enormous cows with great big hineys. They start to blimp out shortly after they reach puberty. They tend to grow up on pig farms and take french showers regularly.
"What is the difference between iowa girls and a basketball? If you absolutely have to, you can eat a basketball."

"What is the difference between an iowa girl and a catfish? One has whiskers and smells like a fish. The other one IS a fish."

vendor whore 

A complete loser that shows up around lunchtime if there are vendors nearby. The vendors want a free lunch and will take almost anyone out so they can utilize their employer's expense account. Vendor whores also go to a lot of free sporting events, and are known to take motorboats and other toys as kickbacks. These tie-wearing idiots really annoy those of us who work with the inferior products they try to push on us, so they can get their free lunches and crap.
"Here comes Don. Yep, it's lunchtime again. His Arabic saleman buddy is here to take him to lunch. What a vendor whore."

uniformed panty raid

These are the secret panty raids that uniformed workmen go on when you are at work. Ever notice a creamy substance all over your panties on water softener day? How about when the you left the key for the cable guy? Were your bras and panties all stretched out and sticky? Thought so.
"I just know that softener man splooged in my silks last Wednesday. Those uniformed panty raids are increasing."

jab in the whiskers 

The act of coitus with a young hottie is sometimes referred to this way.
"That Cindy finally let me give her a jab in the whiskers. It was heavenly."

jab in the whiskers 

The act of coitus with a young hottie is sometimes referred to this way.
"That Cindy finally let me give her a jab in the whiskers. It was heavenly."

gang gestures

This is a type of sign language that gangs of juvenile delinquents use as a type of secret communication. Comes from all of those years of spearing things in the jungles and communicating with other spear hunters. (Wait, that requires intelligence). Anyway, it is impossible not to laugh at at, because it looks so hilarious.
"I just make up my own gang gestures when I see those crime-monkeys gesturing at me. They think I'm nuts that way."