Rick Roberson's definitions

maggot muff

(n.) Similar to Spanish moss. A maggot muff can be the result of many things, such as cuntosis, a buildup of smelly sludge in the vaginal area.

See also Vulveeta

He would've normally asked her out to eat had it not been for the rancid odor of her maggot muff.

by Rick Roberson March 19, 2009

cuntstipation

(n.) Occurs when rock-solid fecal matter is ejected from the vagina onto a person or object, or into an appropriate container.

For our younger, more sensitive readers, cuntstipation is when shit comes out of a girl's pussy (snatch, twat, cunt, meat wallet).

Husband: "Suppose we'll be having sexual intercourse tonight, sweetheart?"

Wife: "Oh no, not tonight, honey... I'm having a bad case of cuntstipation."

Husband: "It's okay, dear. I was just having a sperm-retention headache."

by Rick Roberson April 21, 2011

scat daddy

(n.) A dominant homosexual male that employs feces in the commission of sexual acts.

My boyfriend sniffs dirty diapers and gets horny off the aroma of fresh warm poop. He's my big scat daddy.

by Rick Roberson August 4, 2010

fucking face

(verb/gerund) The definition should be self-explanatory: something only a male can do. To fuck a face is to repeatedly ram your cock into the mouth of an individual. In most cases, the mouth is a more-than-adequate substitute for the preferred vagina or anus.

Fucking face is a very popular past-time for gay male couples and heterosexual couples. Anyone can suck face, but lesbians cannot truly fuck face for obvious reasons. In their case, the tongue is a more-than-adequate substitute for the depraved penis.

Lola: "Hey Steve, why didn't you guys come to my party last night?"

Steve: "Oh, Bruce and I started fucking face and couldn't stop."

Lola: "Well you missed all the fun! Darren gave Chuck a rusty trombone and I sat on Joe's face!"

Steve: "Well, fuck me dead and bury me pregnant!"

by Rick Roberson January 26, 2011

twat penis

(n./slang) A synonym for clitoris.

Husband: Suppose we'll be having sexual intercourse tonight, dear?

Wife: Oh yes, definitely, sweetheart!

Husband: Anything in particular you'd like me to do?

Wife: Yes! I love it when you rub your penis on my twat penis, baby! Now let me make a man out of you!

Husband: Excuse me, dear, but what in the hell is a "twat penis?"

Wife: Go look it up in the Urban Dictionary, honey! Then give me nine inches and make it HURT!

Husband: Oh no, not again! I'll have to screw you three times and knock you over the head with a frying pan!

by Rick Roberson January 26, 2011

scatoody

(n.) A slang word used by parents, teachers, doctors and other adults that refers to the anus when conversing with children about personal hygiene. This terminology can also be used in general adult conversation.

see also: fudge factory

Blanch: What's for lunch, Jane???

Baby Jane: None of your business. It's a surprize.

Blanch: Will it be a mouse or bird of the week? How about some used cat litter on the side?

Baby Jane: Ah, shut up, ya talking zit!! And if you don't like my cooking you can kiss my scatoody!

Blanch: I'd rather eat a warm nutritious bowl of fermented maggots, you has-been HO!

Baby Jane: OK, then I'll drink another bottle of Listerine and puke it all up!

Blanch: That would be one tasty broth, and I can have that for my soup! Oh, thank you dear sister Jane! Tell me... what's for supper???

by Rick Roberson May 3, 2009

fudge factory

(n.) Synonymous with asshole, ring piece, anus, poopie hole, dumphole and scatoody.

The term 'fudge factory' is a euphemism for the anus, used by parents and teachers when conversing with children about personal hygiene.

"Emily, you must remember to wash and clean your fudge factory before getting out of the bathtub."

by Rick Roberson April 26, 2009