4 definitions by Richard J

The crusty part of one's bedsheets soiled with cum from a nocturnal emission or self-handjob. Dogs prize crusty surprises as delicacies, much as we prize lemon merangue pie, and will seek them out in the morning whilst their owners are showering. Not to be confused with the crusty pillow surprise, although there's no reason why a pillow couldn't have a crusty surprise.
Woman: Richard, come here.
Man: What?
Woman: It's your dog. What's he doing?
Man: Barney! What you lickin there?
Barney: really guilty look
Man: Look's like Barney found himself a Crusty Surprise.
Woman: That's disgusting.
Man: That's all right, Mr. B! That cookie's yours!
by Richard J March 6, 2007
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A person who resolves on New Year's Day to attend church more regularly during the New Year, hits up church every Sunday in January, then loses steam by about February or March. He or she may recover enough momentum to make it church on Easter Sunday but probably not very often after that.
Man A: You comin to my pre-game dis afternoon?
Man B: Yeah, after church.
Man A: After /church/? Hell's up with that?
Man B: My woman? She's a January Christian. Happens every year. I give her to March, though. She'll be out when the sun comes out.
by Richard J March 6, 2007
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A small pure-bred dog that one can rent by the hour or by the day in Tokyo and other large Japanese cities for the express purpose of walking them in parks and pick up girls or guys.
Japanfreak 1: Wanna go to a cu-ra-bu tonight?
Japanfresk 2: A club? No, I'm tired of clubs.
JF 1: Yellow fever breaking?
JF 2: Maybe.
JF 1: I got an idea. Let's go get some rental dogs and walk em in Ueno Park. That'll score us a couple of J-Girls.
JF 2: Awesome! I don't have to be back at Nova until 5.
by Richard J March 6, 2007
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A plagiarist, fraud. A person with a seeming reputation for scholarship and professionalism, who turns out to be a plagiarist (and possible charlatan). Named after the eminent TV psychiatrist and 'author' Raj Persaud who, in June 2008, had to account for many examples of plagiarism before the British General Medical Council.
Simon is a persaud. His phd was a copy 'n' paste job.
John's thesis is a complete persaud. He's been sent down!
I haven't got the time, inclination, intelligence or talent to do this essay properly. I'll persaud it off the internet.
by Richard J June 18, 2008
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