RPCGAL's definitions

testicular matrophy

The slow decay of your manhood after years of matrimony.

I don't know what's wrong doctor. I never get to go out with my friends anymore or watch the game on the weekend. We’re always doing things with my wife’s friends. We joined a book group and go clothes shopping together. Hmm, sounds like a severe case of testicular matrophy to me.

by rpcgal September 4, 2013

Off-Season Beautiful

When you’re not one of the truly beautiful people, but enough so to qualify in the off-season.

My wife and were in Portofino, the waiter seated us at a seaside table where others walking by could see us. We thought that doesn’t usually happen. Then we realized the restaurant was mostly empty and it was the off-season, so while not truly beautiful people, we do qualify as off-season beautiful.

by rpcgal November 24, 2022

Veganati

Derived from Illuminati, Veganaties are the enlightened vegans who feel the need to inform everyone of their superior dietary choices.

Having dinner with my cousin the veganati, I had to endure 2 hours hearing about his food choices and how chia pudding tastes better than cheesecake.

by rpcgal November 24, 2022

#RunOnTheFrank

When a shortage of cocktail franks causes people to over-buy for the holiday season, leaving the shelves empty.

I was going to make piggies in a blanket for Christmas, then I discovered all the stores were sold out. I didn’t realize there was a #RunOnTheFrank.

by rpcgal November 24, 2022

Cheek Mute

Similar to Butt Dial, a Cheek Mute is when you hold your phone up to your face to talk, your cheek pushes the mute button without you realizing it.

I called my friend and kept saying hello, hello and shaking my phone wondering why he wasn’t answering me. I finally looked at the phone and realized I had cheek muted.

by rpcgal January 18, 2022

COVID Bomb

When someone in a crowded room gets a text and announces they tested positive.

We were together with friends for a Christmas Party and my neighbor dropped a COVID Bomb on everyone.

by rpcgal December 18, 2021

Micro Mismanaged

When your boss is simultaneously micromanaging you and doing a poor job coordinating the project as a whole.

Even with two daily touch points scheduled for this project, no one could figure out what was being asked of them. I've never seen a project so micro mismanaged.

by rpcgal April 9, 2022