RPCGAL's definitions

COVID Bomb

When someone in a crowded room gets a text and announces they tested positive.

We were together with friends for a Christmas Party and my neighbor dropped a COVID Bomb on everyone.

by rpcgal December 18, 2021

coreplay

Having to admire your spouse's toned abs before they will have sex with you.

Now that my wife is doing pilates we have to engage in coreplay (me telling her what great abs she has) before we can have sex.

by rpcgal July 12, 2012

Petsplaining

The futile endeavor of explaining to your pets what they did wrong and expecting them to understand.

I explained to my puppy why it was wrong for him to pee on the carpet. Two hours later he peed on the carpet again. I should have realized petsplaining doesn’t work.

by rpcgal January 29, 2022

Fundred

A $100 bill you carry with you which can only be used to go on an adventure or do something unexpected for the pure pleasure of it. Fundreds are not allowed to be used to pay bills or similar expenses. Carrying a Fundred reminds you to be on the lookout for opportunities for fun.

My wife and I were at a Cars and Copters show at the local airport. It was $50 per person to go on a helicopter ride. We’d never been in a helicopter and since I had a Fundred with me, we decided to do it. It was Fundred well spent.

by rpcgal February 21, 2021

#RunOnTheFrank

When a shortage of cocktail franks causes people to over-buy for the holiday season, leaving the shelves empty.

I was going to make piggies in a blanket for Christmas, then I discovered all the stores were sold out. I didn’t realize there was a #RunOnTheFrank.

by rpcgal November 24, 2022

Bluetooth Carjacking

When you start your car and it connects to your spouse’s phone.

I started my car and my wife’s phone call from inside the house started coming in on my car speaker. I realized when she borrowed my car last night, I had become the victim of a Bluetooth Carjacking.

by rpcgal January 29, 2022

Veganati

Derived from Illuminati, Veganaties are the enlightened vegans who feel the need to inform everyone of their superior dietary choices.

Having dinner with my cousin the veganati, I had to endure 2 hours hearing about his food choices and how chia pudding tastes better than cheesecake.

by rpcgal November 24, 2022