RPCGAL's definitions

Petsplaining

The futile endeavor of explaining to your pets what they did wrong and expecting them to understand.

I explained to my puppy why it was wrong for him to pee on the carpet. Two hours later he peed on the carpet again. I should have realized petsplaining doesn’t work.

by rpcgal January 29, 2022

Fundred

A $100 bill you carry with you which can only be used to go on an adventure or do something unexpected for the pure pleasure of it. Fundreds are not allowed to be used to pay bills or similar expenses. Carrying a Fundred reminds you to be on the lookout for opportunities for fun.

My wife and I were at a Cars and Copters show at the local airport. It was $50 per person to go on a helicopter ride. We’d never been in a helicopter and since I had a Fundred with me, we decided to do it. It was Fundred well spent.

by rpcgal February 21, 2021

coreplay

Having to admire your spouse's toned abs before they will have sex with you.

Now that my wife is doing pilates we have to engage in coreplay (me telling her what great abs she has) before we can have sex.

by rpcgal July 12, 2012

Cheek Mute

Similar to Butt Dial, a Cheek Mute is when you hold your phone up to your face to talk, your cheek pushes the mute button without you realizing it.

I called my friend and kept saying hello, hello and shaking my phone wondering why he wasn’t answering me. I finally looked at the phone and realized I had cheek muted.

by rpcgal January 18, 2022

Shoefari

When your wife goes on a shopping spree for new shoes.

Last week my wife went on a shoefari with her friends and bagged two pairs of Jimmy Choos a leopard print Prada.

by rpcgal January 30, 2021

Illiterary Reference

When you quote with confidence from a work of literature but get it horribly wrong.

I said to my wife, you know like in Moby Dick, “I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.” To which she responded, that’s from Little Women. Nice illiterary reference.

by rpcgal January 29, 2022

Oldmansplaining

Mansplaining when done by a person of advanced age, typically on a non-PC topic, and at an increased volume.

My father started oldmansplaining to my daughter about the “girl” who worked for him. I just rolled my eyes and said, “too loud and that’s not a term people use any more”.

by rpcgal January 29, 2022