A fictional - but not unrealistic bathroom aid. When passing an abnormally large shit there should be a gum shield type device on a wall bracket or rope next to you - bite down when that mud child is making life unbearable. Can also be useful day after Halloween when half chewed nuts come out pointy like fucking glass shards.
“Man I dropped a Shamu deuce last night that would have wet the first 6 rows at seaworld. Had to bear down hard on my shitbit”
by Quagmire Ton bastardo November 14, 2019
Chronic condition whereby twice a day milking just doesn’t cut it. Self milking can occur up to six times especially if the hot cleaner bends over a lot.
by Quagmire Ton bastardo December 12, 2019
by Quagmire Ton bastardo November 14, 2019
by Quagmire Ton bastardo November 11, 2019
Name given to a usually male masturbator who utilizes discarded dirty female underwear pulled down over his face like a super hero mask to savor scent, but also to keep his hands free for strenuous self abuse.
Instead of being a super hero fighting crime - he’s more of a super weirdo fetishist “fighting” himself
Instead of being a super hero fighting crime - he’s more of a super weirdo fetishist “fighting” himself
My wife left some creamy musky underwear discarded on the bathroom floor - the thonged avenger made an impromptu appearance.
by Quagmire Ton bastardo November 15, 2019
Like a cunt only much much worse. Think of a racist fat opinionated sexist vain megalomaniac and then imagine somebody who makes that person seem like Mother Teresa
In scientific notation it’s denoted as cunt10000. (Cunt to power of 10000)
In scientific notation it’s denoted as cunt10000. (Cunt to power of 10000)
by Quagmire Ton bastardo November 15, 2019
A roaming data 4G wank where one purposefully disconnects their device from the wireless network beforehand as it may be frowned upon by the owners - e.g. a church, funeral home or work lavatory
My God the widow is fucking smoking hot in black - I’m going for a 4GFap once I’ve given her my deepest sympathies y
by Quagmire Ton bastardo September 15, 2022