Quagmire Ton bastardo 's definitions

Howdy Stranger

The art of lying on your arm to numb it and make masturbation feel like someone else is doing it. Can be accompanied by wearing rings and nice nail polish for males.

Gave myself a romantic howdy stranger last night

by Quagmire Ton bastardo November 15, 2019

chimpface

The way an avid drinker will purse their lips in order to get the very last drops of alcohol from the bottom of the glass

Pulled a chimpface to drink every last drop of her piss

by Quagmire Ton bastardo December 29, 2020

Thonged Avenger

Name given to a usually male masturbator who utilizes discarded dirty female underwear pulled down over his face like a super hero mask to savor scent, but also to keep his hands free for strenuous self abuse.

Instead of being a super hero fighting crime - he’s more of a super weirdo fetishist “fighting” himself

My wife left some creamy musky underwear discarded on the bathroom floor - the thonged avenger made an impromptu appearance.

by Quagmire Ton bastardo November 15, 2019

Thumbs up fuck

Over enthusiastic emoji user who will use a thumbs up for literally any response.

“It’s pancreatic so I’m almost Definitely deader than dog shit soon. First chemo session Monday.” Response: Thumbs up fuck

by Quagmire Ton bastardo November 11, 2019

Trump

Like a cunt only much much worse. Think of a racist fat opinionated sexist vain megalomaniac and then imagine somebody who makes that person seem like Mother Teresa

In scientific notation it’s denoted as cunt10000. (Cunt to power of 10000)

That fat fuck in the red baseball cap talking shit is a real trump

by Quagmire Ton bastardo November 15, 2019

Shitbit

A fictional - but not unrealistic bathroom aid. When passing an abnormally large shit there should be a gum shield type device on a wall bracket or rope next to you - bite down when that mud child is making life unbearable. Can also be useful day after Halloween when half chewed nuts come out pointy like fucking glass shards.

“Man I dropped a Shamu deuce last night that would have wet the first 6 rows at seaworld. Had to bear down hard on my shitbit”

by Quagmire Ton bastardo November 14, 2019

Mad cow disease

Chronic condition whereby twice a day milking just doesn’t cut it. Self milking can occur up to six times especially if the hot cleaner bends over a lot.

This hot weather means pokie nipples and the scent of warm vagina - I got the mad cow disease.

by Quagmire Ton bastardo December 12, 2019