Definitions by QuacksO
Coke-bottle glasses
Prescription eyeglasses with very thick/heavy lenses, like the infamous "forest-fire-starter" curved lens-like bottoms on heavy-walled Coca-cola soft-drink bottles.
Wow, that little old lady's sure got the coke-bottle glasses! Wonder how she ever manages to see in the shower or anyplace else where she has to take her glasses off.
Grade-school kid #1: Yo, pal --- you back from the eye-doc, I see. Whoa-hoh-hohhhh... what huge thick lenses! That rig must weigh a TON --- zheesh, I feel for ya --- totally sux, Bud!
Grade-school kid #2: Yeah, fer sher --- the doc said it was hereditary, and I'd never have good vision, so he gave me these stupid Coke-bottle glasses which I'll hafta wear the rest of my life. Ah, well... at least I can see again.
Grade-school kid #1: Yo, pal --- you back from the eye-doc, I see. Whoa-hoh-hohhhh... what huge thick lenses! That rig must weigh a TON --- zheesh, I feel for ya --- totally sux, Bud!
Grade-school kid #2: Yeah, fer sher --- the doc said it was hereditary, and I'd never have good vision, so he gave me these stupid Coke-bottle glasses which I'll hafta wear the rest of my life. Ah, well... at least I can see again.
Coke-bottle glasses by QuacksO November 28, 2011
real estate
Guy who wants to give a girl a massage: Don't worry, hun... I promise I’ll just touch the “acceptable” parcels of real estate --- when the sign says, “Keep off the grass”, I keep off the grass! (Acknowledgements to Charles Bronson)
real estate by QuacksO November 26, 2011
The Merchandise
Girl, protesting a guy’s trying to feel her up: “Hey! Who said you could sample The Merchandise?!???”
The Merchandise by QuacksO November 26, 2011
tit-for-tat
The practice of a female’s either showing a man “The Merchandise” or letting him feel her up in exchange for his assistance. Often mentioned in the case of a normally-modest/celibate female who does not want to expose herself but feels that she may have no choice at the time because she really needs the male’s immediate help but possesses no money or other "acceptable" way to presume to expect said male to exert himself on her behalf.
Roomie #1: Yo! It's eleven p.m., Girl! Where ya been?
Roomie # 2: Oh, had a flat tire, hunny, 'way out in the boonies! Lucky for me that country boy stopped by on his ATV and changed it for me!
Roomie #1: He did it for FREE?!?? You told me you were outta foldin' money.
Roomie # 2: Yeah, I know --- hadda give him a little tit-for-tat first.
Roomie # 2: Oh, had a flat tire, hunny, 'way out in the boonies! Lucky for me that country boy stopped by on his ATV and changed it for me!
Roomie #1: He did it for FREE?!?? You told me you were outta foldin' money.
Roomie # 2: Yeah, I know --- hadda give him a little tit-for-tat first.
tit-for-tat by QuacksO November 26, 2011
exersighs
Assorted weary wheezes, irritated snorts, long exhaled breaths accompanied by slumped shoulders, etc. exhibited by a "totally unmotivated" person whenever someone else either mentions that he should get up off his duff and do something constructive, or suggests that he take a walk for his health.
Exasperated wife: I can't ever get that huhhzbin' o' mine to git his butt off the couch --- I tell him a dozen times a day that he should do more than decorate the place, but all he ever does is give me them exersighs!
bank account withdrawal
That acute and all-consuming feeling of bored emptiness, melancholy, cranky dissatisfaction, etc. that comes when one accustomed to a lavish lifestyle has completely drained his financial resources and thus has to start economizing, or when a “caring” (read, “tough-love”!) parent/spouse/dutch uncle has suspended the squanderer’s spending privileges until such time as he is deemed worthy/responsible enough to manage his own finances again.
Cool chick: Yo! Why the long face, girl?
Hip lass: Oh, just major bank account withdrawal syndrome --- my boyfriend was sick of bailing me out, so he took away my debit and credit cards, and enrolled me in a free community college course in frugal money management.
Cool chick: Yeeee-gads! Major bummer, honey! Well, I’ll be a good sport and take the course, too, so I can sit with you for emotional support. Besides, I could use a little help myself in that regard.
Hip lass: Oh, just major bank account withdrawal syndrome --- my boyfriend was sick of bailing me out, so he took away my debit and credit cards, and enrolled me in a free community college course in frugal money management.
Cool chick: Yeeee-gads! Major bummer, honey! Well, I’ll be a good sport and take the course, too, so I can sit with you for emotional support. Besides, I could use a little help myself in that regard.
bank account withdrawal by QuacksO November 23, 2011
assordid
Used to describe details that are both numerous and “juicy”, but which are not suitable to discuss in front of ladies or children. Usually uttered in an uncomplimentary context, where the speaker feels revulsion or disgust, or is upset with the loose-tongued “reporter” for not having more discretion in what details he is choosing to divulge.
Clueless guy: Wow, you should see the awesome collection of secret-fantasy toys that Barry has! He’s got zebra-striped-fur-lined handcuffs, a gold-plated whipped-cream dispenser, stainless-steel-studded black-leather collars and belts with ---“
Squeamish dude: Uggghhhhh… TMI, Bud! Spare me the assordid details!
Squeamish dude: Uggghhhhh… TMI, Bud! Spare me the assordid details!