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QuacksO's definitions

butt buffer-zone

Refers to the distance between Uranus and the outer perimeter of your butt-cheeks, in terms of how far an accidentally-released blob of poop has to "travel" before it reaches --- and subsequently soils --- your clothing and/or whatever surface that you happen to be presently sitting/lying upon.
Many people think that having a huge flabby behind in undesirable, but it can actually be an advantage if you occasionally suffer from liquid farts, since it provides you with a greater butt buffer-zone; this is especially fortuitous if you happen to be sitting or reclining at the time of said unexpected discharge, since it is exhaustingly more laborious to properly sanitize a seat-cushion or mattress, whereas soiled clothing can usually just be soaked in detergent-solution and then tossed in the washer.
by QuacksO March 5, 2017
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Racine thoughts

What Elliot Ness unexpectedly experienced when he spotted da recently-eliminated-at-da-hands-of-da-Mob Malone's street-address written on da matchbook-cover carried by Frank Nitti inside da courthouse, and realized dat Nitti must therefore have been da murderer.
Elliot Ness may indeed have begun having "Racine thoughts" upon seeing da address of his deceased friend written inside da cover of Nitti's matchbook, but then his mind REALLY started to "operate in turbo mode" when said slickly-attired hooligan yanked his gun back out and started majorly shootin' up da place!
by QuacksO September 1, 2022
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ferry tales

Da body of literary fiction recounting da adventures of Theodore Tugboat and his friends.
Many of da stories in Da Brothers Grimm's book were morbid and violent; I much prefer da modern-day ferry tales, where everyone generally makes an effort to get along and work together.
by QuacksO September 4, 2022
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propriety-penalty

Refers to any case where Big Brother hypocritically "talks out of both sides of his mouth" in the management/oversight of certain economic policies; i.e., the Government loudly claims to approve/disapprove of a certain practice/behavior, yet they tax you or charge you extra if you actually "do the right thing" in that instance.
A classic example of "propriety-penalty" is the marriage-tax, whereby two people who marry are collectively charged more than twice the amount of income-tax that just one of them would have to pay "on his own", and government-provided financial assistance (i.e., Social Security, SSI Disability, etc.) that two benefits-eligible people receive is significantly reduced if they get married instead of merely practicing the socially-frowned-upon "co-habitating without a wedding band" living-arrangement... in both cases, you get "financially penalized" for "doing the right thing"! It's little wonder that so few couples --- especially the younger ones who might be required to pay income tax if their earnings are high enough --- want to "tie the knot" nowadays; these destructive monetary policies actually **encourage** love-birds to "misbehave" in this way.
by QuacksO August 1, 2018
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wedding serumony

A service where two "venomous" individuals tie the knot.
If a black widow and a black widower decide to get hitched, it is often a miracle if they even make it through the wedding serumony without at least one coffin's being sent in.
by QuacksO May 22, 2018
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swellebration

A "bragging rights" crowing dat a gal engages in after giving a dude a major hard-on.
A lot of guys get huge boners at da sight of any even-marginally-attractive lady "in da buff", so dat is not necessarily much cause for swellebration.
by QuacksO February 22, 2021
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hiways and byeways

Refers to sets of two different and successive roads where you initially meet a specific fellow motorist on da first road, and then bid him farewell on da second road because da two of you are traveling in different directions.
If you're in da habit of running afoul of one or more smokeys on your road-trips, you'll want to choose routes dat includes enough pairs of hiways and byeways so dat you can give said Men In Blue da slip whenever necessary.
by QuacksO August 22, 2022
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