Definitions by QuacksO

assizes 

A panel of magistrates whose purpose is to determine how big someone's posterior really is, regardless of whatever form-flattering clothing that the person happens to wear.

Curvy chick: I appreciate how kind and non-judgemental my new guy is to me; so many dudes nowadays are just a bunch of assizes in their view of a gal's attractiveness.

assizes by QuacksO May 6, 2019

ammoteur

A novice in the field of firearms who should not be entrusted to work unsupervised with live rounds until he's had more experience, practice, and training in their safe handling and discharging.

Red Green Show character Edgar K.B. Montrose is clearly an ammoteur when it comes to high explosives, and he's got the impaired hearing --- and a missing finger or two --- to prove it.

ammoteur by QuacksO May 6, 2019

faucet flatulence 

Refers to the noisy whooshy spluttering in your pipes when turning on a spigot, often heard when doing so for the first time after having the water turned back on, and so there is lots of accumulated/trapped air in the plumbing that has to be "exhausted".

I just about had a heart attack in first grade when the tap on the sink in the boy's room started making loud popping and banging sounds --- and erratically spewing frothy water --- while I was washing my hands. Well, after all, what with my being only eight years old at the time, and with the washroom's echoey concrete walls and floor amplifying and distorting every little sound, it was only logical that I would have been terrified at this unexpected occurrence --- so much so, in fact, that I frantically called the Principal down to show him. He was totally understanding and sympathetic, gently explaining to me that there was nothing to fear; it was just faucet flatulence.

faucet flatulence by QuacksO May 6, 2019

harassassin 

A.k.a. "assholeassin". A hired exterminator of fellow humans who brings about the demise of his marks by behaving like such an intolerable jerk that the stressed-out unfortunate eventually commits suicide in order to escape said obnoxious persecution.

One should take care how he treats his fellow humans --- like they say, you never know what battles someone else is fighting, and so some people could be "pushed over the edge" by even minor;y-upsetting actions/attitudes on the part of another. Many a cranky schoolteacher, headmaster, stepmother/mother-in-law, etc. has been a literal harassassin, often without even being aware of it at the time.

harassassin by QuacksO May 6, 2019

Trittium

A rare radioactive gas that, when inhaled, makes someone a super-accomplished singer, just like how Peter Parker's radioactive spider-bite gave him Spider-Man's amazing powers.

John claims to be a great vocalist due to his having breathed Trittium, but In reality he's a moron who can't even sing on-key, so I think that --- if anything --- he may have breathed a healthy dose of "twittium" while he was growing up.

Trittium by QuacksO May 6, 2019

recipee

A culinary concoction that makes you hafta take a whiz repeatedly after consuming said dish.

Tomato-sauce is a wonderful and tasty garnish for many main-course food-choices, but --- especially if you also have coffee with the same meal --- it is a recipee for disaster if you don't have a restroom nearby.

recipee by QuacksO May 3, 2019

Pleeze squeeze theeze 

What a boobs-living dude's lustful gaze "sees printed" on the portion of a buxom gal's shirt-front that's being "obviously held out" by da gal's huge juicy gazongas that dwell beneath.

Just because a chick happens to possess exceptionally-bountiful chest-pillowz doesn't mean dat she's consciously or intentionally "presenting" or "offering" them to you for use as "stress orbs" or dat she wants you to knead them like Play-Doh... they're merely part of her body; she's not holding them out there in a "Pleeze squeeze theeze" gesture!

Pleeze squeeze theeze by QuacksO May 2, 2019