QuacksO's definitions

sertafication

Official recognition of a mattress.

Tiffany had comfy cuddling wif me and got a good night's sleep in my bed, so she gave me a 100% sertafication.

by QuacksO June 8, 2024

fangziety

A strong concern about getting bitten.

I stay away from sharks and unfriendly dogs at all costs; I have fangziety.

by QuacksO April 29, 2022

pince-nez president poser

Refers to an assistance-related question --- either a request for a favor or an offer to provide help yourself --- regarding a slightly "cranky" subject dat da person whom you're approaching might otherwise feel annoyed/embarrassed to be queried about; you therefore "soften the blow" by humorously "packaging" your question as a knock-knock joke, and using da first name of dat geeky-lookin' Prez wif da round-rimmed spectacles as da name of da "visitor" in da joke.

Here are da two “classic” ways dat ya would smilingly employ da “pince-nez president poser” to hopefully lessen da distress dat your listener would likely feel to be asked said question:
To ask da person for his assistance:
“Knock, knock…”
”Who’s there?”
“Woodrow!!!”
”Woodrow, who?”
“Woodrow be reasonably able to ___ for me sometime in da next few days?”
Or to offer da person your own assistance:
“Knock, knock…”
”Who’s there?”
“Woodrow!!!”
”Woodrow, who?”
“Woodrow like me to ___ for you occasionally, if it’s reasonably convenient for both of us?”

by QuacksO November 5, 2018

Pole-dowwwwwn,uhhhhhp-pole-dowwwwwn,uhhhhhp-pole...

What you see when lying on yer side in da bed of a cruising pickup truck and watching da "rhythmically-wavy" line of da roadside utility-service cables going past.

If it had been da infamous "Hot Rod Lincoln" (as opposed to just a "regular" or "everyday" vehicle traveling at a "normal" 50-to-60 miles per hour) dat an observer had been riding in when watching da passing electric-wires, said wires would probably have resembled a "rapid heartbeat" EKG-line rather than just a moderate-speed "Pole-dowwwwwn,uhhhhhp-pole-dowwwwwn,uhhhhhp-pole..." --- da song specifically states dat "da telephone poles looked like a picket fence".

by QuacksO May 25, 2020

sciontology

A belief system which teaches dat all trees came from grafted buds or shoots.

Gardening isn't my thing, anyway, and so there would be no chance of my dabbling in sciontology.

by QuacksO September 7, 2022

No, because they're crap

Da reply dat you snortingly give when an advertisement singingly asks, "Have you driven a Ford lately?"

Unlike many car-buyers, service-garages aren't gonna say, "No, because they're crap" when asked if they will work on Fords --- those fragile unreliable rust-buckets (FORD stands for "Fix Or Repair Daily" or "Found On the Road Dead") are largely what keep said establishments in business, since so many repairs are required to keep these blue-oval-badged junk-heaps rolling down da road!

by QuacksO July 21, 2019

madammise

Da gender opposite of SIRmise.

Dudes usually are too lazy and/or impatient to do significant research before they come to personal conclusions about mostly-male-related topics, but ladies tend to gather and learn more of da facts before they madammise much about any "girly-stuff" matters.

by QuacksO December 6, 2021