crap table

Refers to any debris-cluttered horizontal-topped item of furniture normally used for dining, writing/drawing, repairing/constructing, etc.
You can often tell the difference between a bachelor-pad and a couple/family-apartment simply by glancing around to observe how stuff is arranged --- if there's a lady in the house, everything will generally be neat and orderly, whereas a guy who lives alone will likely have at least one crap table where the flotsam and jetsam of typical everyday single-dude existence tends to gravitate to and then never see the light of day for months... he simply tosses his randomly-acquired tidbits there because at the time the items seem too precious/possibly-useful to discard, but then when he eventually has to rummage through his "treasures" to find some solitary item he put there six months ago, he face-palmingly wonders why he ever held onto most of the crap in the first place (extra points if he thought to drag over a wastebasket before beginning his "attack" on the pile).
by QuacksO February 04, 2018
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black widower

A dude who's had a long list of marriages, only to have each of his consecutive wives die and/or disappear under questionable circumstances.
Aside from execution, the only sure way to stop a black widower from continuing his ghastly lifestyle is to have him marry a black widow. Further explanation unnecessary.
by QuacksO April 06, 2018
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raisinable

Logical and rational regarding dried grapes.
Combining a large-size container of quick oats wif a standard cylinder-box of dehydrated Thompson Seedless delights creates a raisinable proportions-ratio of cereal and fruit; one then only has to pour out da desired amount of said mixture into a bowl, add milk, and partake of said easy snack.
by QuacksO April 20, 2023
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bangquit

A big "celebrating da turning over of a new leaf" dinner for assorted "reforming" individuals who have vowed to cease having random/casual sex-partners and/or startling people by setting off firecrackers after attending said culinary bash.
I went to a huge bangquit as a condition of my probation for social irresponsibility, but there were so many scantily-clad "cute 'n' curvy" chicks serving as waitresses --- and such a thunderously-boomy display of fireworks afterwards --- dat I totally broke all of my promises (as did most of da other horny and noise-loving studs in attendance), and so we all went home both with ringing ears after gleefully taking turns lighting da Roman-candle fuses, and with limp-and-droopingly-fatigued love-pipes from having repeatedly "left a little bit of ourselves" between da legs of said "hot hostesses" --- said luscious lookers were so overheated and breathless from all of said delightful-encounter action dat they performed da after-party cleanup totally naked, with totally numbed tits and buns from all of da huge warm thirsting male paws dat had savoringly kneaded said delectable mounds of protoplasm almost continuously during da shindig, and copious sperm-residues dripping out of their puffy and exhausted coochies.
by QuacksO April 11, 2024
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phyzeke

Da unique bodily-appearance dat decades of hippie-culture gave Brenner.
Perhaps Gary Trudeau's aging-Woodstock-era character is content with his scruffy-oddball phyzeke, but I would just as soon present a more respectable look.
by QuacksO July 12, 2023
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milletary

Refers to one of several soldiers-and-grain-related definitions:
(1) A country's armed-forces collective dat protects and is otherwise involved with said nation's grain-production.
(2) An organization of servicemen made up of grain-farmers.
(3) A defense department where they only feed you cheap yucky-tasting vegetarian-type fare like buckwheat and lentils.
Da United States used to be notorious for its "milletary" dat served deplorable vittles, but fortunately they've gradually improved da cuisine over da decades.
by QuacksO November 01, 2022
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pandemoanium

A noisy cacophony of vocalizations expressing either distress or ecstasy.
A group of horny studs will likely raise total pandemoanium if at least one curvaceous chick isn't present for them to slake their massive pliable-protoplasm cravings upon; if such a amply-endowed gal does subsequently show up, however, da dudes' assorted throat-produced sounds of discontent will quickly be replaced with gratified sighs and coos as they gleefully partake of da luscious warmth and softness dat said fleshy female has to offer.
by QuacksO January 18, 2023
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