QuacksO's definitions
Seeing as how it's been so long since da ancient scrolls of Rome, Greece, and Egypt were originally penned, any associated copyrights have probably long since expired, and thus da content of said vintage texts has likely passed into da public domain; I would therefore imagine dat nowadays you would be free to quote from these antique writings all you want without fear of being sued for papyruscy.
by QuacksO February 24, 2024
Get the papyruscymug. A.k.a. "moocher's greeting" or "glad-handout"; it refers to where one of your "friends" beamingly approaches you with extended arm as if to greet you with a hearty palm-clasp, but instead of positioning his hand vertically the way one usually does when shaking hands, he holds his outstretched palm **upwards** so that his hand is horizontal --- this "gimme, gimme, gimme" position is how his hand is usually held whenever he is around fellow humans (duh!).
I always feel suspicious whenever someone greets me with a horizontal handshake, since it is a good indication that he is planning to ask me for a handout.
by QuacksO August 2, 2019
Get the horizontal handshakemug. Refers to da multi-pocket storage-sleeve dat you conceal inside your clothing or in a backpack/satchel, and fill wif one or more ounces apiece of assorted "emergency rations" --- i.e., chips, crackers, pepperoni, miniature cheese-slices, dried orange wafers, etc. --- so dat you can have said secret stash to help "fill in da gaps" at any social gathering where your hosts don't serve "guy-sized" portions.
One occasion when you might wanna have your supplementary snacks stockpile handy would be if a group of friendly slim chicks had smilingly invited you to tag along wif dem on a picnic, but then you discover dat they'd just brought "girly-sized snacks" --- i.e., "eating like a bird" serving-amounts --- and therefore either you'd totally "look like a little piggy" if you asked for more, or you'd hafta actually eat some of da portions allocated for da other picnic-members. So what ya do instead is to simply "break out da back-up basket" --- i.e., your own "emergency" supply of guy-munchies --- and then really heap up your various serving-tray-compartments with your additional goodies. To be polite, of course, don't make a big deal or even be especially "obvious" about your snacks-supplementing actions; da point here is to merely ensure dat your stomach won't leave da picnic feeling achy and pinched, not to make your hostesses feel guilty or stingy. So be just as cheerful and grateful towards your skinny meal-companions as you'd have been in any case; no doubt they'll observe how much more you needed to stuff your cheeks wif in order to feel satisfied, and so perhaps they will indeed make a note to bring along more food themselves whenever they invite you. But just remember dat they'd originally been planning for this picnic to just be a "trim-and-tiny-tummied girls only" outing, so your being allowed to accompany dem was merely a last-minute change not planned for in advance.
by QuacksO September 3, 2022
Get the supplementary snacks stockpilemug. Having mesophoneia can give others in your vicinity a major case of misophonia from having yer Apple or Moto constantly ringing/dinging.
by QuacksO June 17, 2024
Get the mesophoneiamug. Da best-lathed plans can go awry if either yer work-order specs are off by one digit, or yer equipment is even slightly outta whack.
by QuacksO December 10, 2023
Get the best-lathed plansmug. A fumingly-sarcastic reference to a shamelessly "sneaky 'n' unethical" (and unfortunately very common!) "buy-pressure" strategy practiced at many hardware/specialty-supplies stores; the ploy consists of a staffperson's hacking off a length from a roll of bulk-product like rope, wire, hose, or cloth, and only **afterwards** informing the customer how much the product is priced per foot, hoping that said customer will then feel obligated to buy the piece "since it's already been cut off the roll".
I once had a totally pathetic "cost-cutting maneuver" tried on me at a bicycle-repair shop --- I needed a rear shift-cable, and so the clerk cut off my required length of cable from the store's bulk roll, without first telling me the super-steep per-foot price or asking me beforehand if I wanted to pay that much. It was only when he actually brought the "ringing up the sale" screen up on the computer that he revealed the astronomical amount that it was gonna cost me --- a whopping SEVEN DOLLARS AND CHANGE! --- for just three or four feet of the cable! Fortunately, I had the "bravery" to just look mildly shocked and hastily remark, "Eeeyewww... that's a lot more than I can afford --- thank you anyway, though. I'll just get one at WalMart instead." Hey, it wasn't MY fault if the salesman had created a harder-to-resell cut piece of cable --- I hadn't asked him to chop me off some of the cable yet, I'd just told him that I needed a replacement shifter-cable, so it wasn't my "responsibility" to now PAY for said cable! He should have told me beforehand how much it would cost per foot, and then asked me if I wanted to buy it before he'd actually hacked the length off the roll!
by QuacksO November 1, 2018
Get the cost-cutting maneuvermug. "Bare-bones" proceeds/rewards that are of far less value/usefulness than whatever it was that you originally invested into said venture... in other words, it's like you put fresh pure premium dairy-butter into da mix, and only got stale margarine back out for all your sweat 'n' toil.
I diligently updated my profile and paid my dues to a local dating-service in the hopes of scoring some sweet fresh "milk", but all I got was a bony plain-Jane past-middle-aged biddy wif A-cups and a hairy snatch dat smelled funny --- talk about margarinal returns!
by QuacksO November 17, 2018
Get the margarinal returnsmug.