carrotoconus

An abnormal condition of yer peepers due to yer having eaten too MANY of those hairy orange veggies.

Mother: Eat your carrots, dear.
Son: Why should I, Ma?
Mother: They're good for your eyesight.
Son: How do you know?
Mother: Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?

(Well, that may indeed be a valid point, Mom, but what about bunnies who chow down on EXCESSIVE quantities of Mr. McGregor's vermilion-colored garden-produce, and develop carrotoconus?! Da famous story only talks about Peter's needing camomile tea after his jacket-losing misadventures, but it doesn't go on to tell if he also needed corrective lenses sometime in da future from consuming too much Vitamin A!)

by QuacksO February 05, 2025

hairoin

A drug that makes your cranial-fur longer and thicker.

The real reason that hairoin is illegal is the same as it is for marijuana, ephedra, tryptophan, and some other substances --- it **works** and is **cheap**, and so the greedy scalp-tonic companies that sell all these costly growth-stimulation products that often produce little or no actual results don't want it on the market... it isn't harmful or hazardous; it would just put them out of business!!

by QuacksO November 29, 2019

generous with his sausage, but stingy with his bacon

Sarcastic term used by a lady for a guy with a major case of "one-sided willingness" --- da dude is always ready and eager to "open his zipper" (i.e., whip out his "sausage") anytime, but never seems all that motivated to "open his WALLET" (i.e., "share his bacon") to help you out financially, even with just basic stuff like groceries of household/repair materials.

Cool chick: So what's your new boyfriend like?
Hip girl: Oh, just yer typical pig --- generous with his sausage, but stingy with his bacon!

by QuacksO September 28, 2018

Austriacize

To give someone da cold shoulder merely due to his having hailed from a country in da Eastern Alps.

Now da worldwide immigration is such a common practice, there is less risk of being Austriacized in America.

by QuacksO December 04, 2022

hellth, wellfare, and moreals

What da powers-dat-be feel would be in jeopardy if a child was allowed to occupy an excessive number of deep water-seeking shafts drilled/dug down into da earth.

Home-taught student: Da snooty public school officials stated dat da dey were concerned dat my "hellth, wellfare, and moreals" would be in jeopardy if I was allowed to stay home and receive my tutelage there, but DAT was a BIG laugh... as cruelly and unfairly as I had been being treated in school, it appeared dat da stated-but-not-actually-existing-at-home hazard was in reality MORE likely present AT DA SCHOOL... in other words, I always felt like I was indeed in a major "hell-hole" --- i.e., in a deep "well" --- while attending classes there, and I definitely felt that way a lot "more" often in public school than I did at any time while I was being home-schooled!

by QuacksO December 27, 2021

whoopsie-Daisy

An "accident" dat occurs when a passionate kiss between da cute-'n'-curvy Dukes of Hazzard chick and a certain young eager-and-adoring member of da "area's finest" progresses to something more serious, wif da result dat cousins Bo and Luke also become SECOND cousins, and Uncle Jesse is obliged to assume da additional title of "great uncle". :P

If "Enos' penis" was sticking out "strate" on any occasion when he and his habitually-admired country-girl love-interest were "gettin' it on hot 'n' heavy" in da lips-locking department, there very likely might have been a "whoopsie-Daisy" dat would soon result in said lovely lady's "sticking out down there" herself! :P

by QuacksO October 06, 2024

militerry

An armed-forces organization where sharply-pressed uniforms are absent; everyone just wraps themselves in towels and white robes.

Joining da militerry may not entitle you to wear fancy-shmancy colorful and starched outfits, but you'll definitely be more comfy in warmer weather.

by QuacksO January 15, 2023