gone with the wind

The status of your sensitive-nosed companions after you fart.

If you love stewed cabbage and baked beans, using an activated-charcoal seat-cushion can better your chances that your visiting buddies will not "be gone with the wind" partway through your meal.

by QuacksO September 14, 2020

protective cusstody

Imprisonment designed to shield someone from swearing and other crude language.

What good is protective cusstody if da jailers and other officials of da clink grumble and/or shout profanity/obscenity-laced remarks themselves?!??

by QuacksO January 24, 2023

hallooseinations

Da ethereal images dat you erroneously think you're seeing while taking a diarrhea-crap on da toilet.

I try not to visualize prunes or Epsom salts while taking a "liquid dump", since having laxatives in my consciousness just causes worse hallooseinations.

by QuacksO December 31, 2020

fart dieseling

Da embarrassing (or hilarious, depending on who you talk to, and/or whether da emotions-feeler is da "actor" or da "observer") interval of "run-on" dat sometimes occurs following da "main event" --- i.e., yer butt-trumpet keeps on "purrin' like a kitten" for an extended period afterwards, rather than just "saying its piece" and then being done wif it.

In da uproarious "National Baked Bean Month" speech, da formally-dignified speaker experiences a major bout of fart dieseling towards da end, totally goofing up said oration but majorly putting his audience in stitches.

by QuacksO June 12, 2024

single-letter difference between God and the IRS

Said letter is "R" --- God tells us to "PRAY with faith and without ceasing", whereas the IRS tells us to "PAY with faith and without ceasing". Otherwise, both "mighty entities" are essentially the same... they act like they've got your best interests at heart, but in reality they just mercilessly "milk you for all you're worth" and then turn their backs on you when you've been drained dry... no further explanation necessary.

Come to think of it, the single-letter difference between God and the IRS isn't the only direct correlation between the two "superpowers" --- because the IRS tells us to PAY so much, it causes poorer folks to PRAY to God a lot more due to their worries over becoming even more destitute from shelling out for their income taxes!

by QuacksO November 25, 2018

Juss flappin' yer coat-tails

In other words, juss sassin' ya. Comes from da playful-but-annoying practice of coming up behind someone who's wearing a long jacket with a divided lower back, grabbing da jacket just above da slit, and then vigorously/rapidly yanking da lower part of da jacket in and out to make da pair of tails slap against da person's butt.

Me: If yer too warm, why doncha go take a dip in da ocean?
You: Jump in da ocean??? Are you crazy??? It's chilly and whitecaps-windy out there!
Me: I know, I know... juss flappin' yer coat-tails...! :D

by QuacksO March 23, 2019

sirmise

What male chauvinists arrogantly do when deciding how da fairer gender should treat them, and vice-versa.

I think dat female humans are da greatest thing on Earth, so I would never sirmise to feel or act superior to them.

by QuacksO February 23, 2021