Definitions by QuacksO

perishute 

A derogatory term for an old/cheap descent-slowing cloth canopy dat a would-be jumper does not feel overly confident about entrusting with his life.

In "Indiana Jones and the Temple Of Doom", singer Willie Scott doesn't think overly much of Indy's choosing the inflatable raft as a life-saving device for jumping out of the crashing plane--- it looks like nothing but a perishute to her.

perishute by QuacksO July 24, 2021

Matchyou Peachyou 

A Peruvian friendship/romance service dat guarantees dat you will find a "sweet-tasting-fuzzy-skinned-fruit-with-a-ridged-pit"-level partner.

I'm told dat Matchyou Peachyou has been in existence for well over 500 years, so hopefully by now they know a thing or two about their local ladies, and thus they would be very good about determining how to find a perfect blinky-eyed cuddle-companion for just about any dude.

Matchyou Peachyou by QuacksO July 23, 2021

squallternative 

A more-quiet-and-dignified response than simply bawling your lungs out.

I can see infants' not being expected to "keep it down" and behave/communicate constructively and in moderation, but once a child gets to be two or three years of age, it is logical to expect that his parents should have taught him at least a few squallternatives by that time!

squallternative by QuacksO July 23, 2021

alphabetical accidents 

BACKcident: Where you either throw out your spine, or run over/into something while driving in reverse
FAXcident: An "oopsie" (such as garbled or overly-sensitive data) regarding printed material dat you sent over da phone lines
HACKcident: A major computer-related screw-up due to your not having updated your malware-shield recently enough
JACKcident: Depending on which version --- original vs. modern --- of da poem you read, this term can mean: (1) what Jill's male companion suffered due to his losing his footing near da top of da hill where da well was, or (2) what JILL HERSELF suffered when she had unprotected sex wif da pot-smoking Jack, and forgot to take her pill at da time. Can also refer to: (3) what can happen if you don't position your mechanical lifting-device properly when changing a tire, or (4) da painful experience dat you'd get when stepping on an unseen knobby/spikey-toy in your stocking-feet!

Additional examples of alphabetical accidents include:
LAXcident: Refers to either: (1) an unfortunate mishap due to one or more people's not being careful/attentive/cautious enough, or (2) an unexpected calamity at da big airport in Southern California
MAXcident: What insurance-fraud crooks try to create so as to collect da biggest payout dat they possibly can from their injury/damage-related policies
PAXcident: A messy screw-up at da annual gaming-festival
RACKcident: A debacle regarding either a welded-metal wares-platform or da triangular frame for corralling da balls in table-tennis
SACKcident: Refers to either: (1) a messy spillage from a burlap bag, or (2) getting a girl preggo when sharing her sleeping-bag
TACKcident: An unforeseen "big ouch" incident similar to Definition #4 of "Jackcident"
TAXcident: Where you inadvertently let slip about undeclared assets to da IRS
WAXcident: Da unfortunate results of having da hair-removal medium too hot when spreading it on your excessively-furred skin
YAKcident: Refers to either: (1) where you majorly put your foot in your mouth due to uninhibited/indiscreet blabbing, or (2) a mishap regarding a huge hairy mammal with massive curling horns

alphabetical accidents by QuacksO July 23, 2021

cameraflage 

Refers to either (1) steps dat you take to conceal your shutter-box from being observed by da subject of yer photos, or (2) steps dat da would-be subject of yer photo-snapping endeavors takes to conceal himself from da prying-probing "eye" of yer lens.

Celebrities, politicians, suspected/convicted felons, etc. are often da subject of assorted stealthy high-tech attempts by reporters at getting candid snapshots, and so they hafta employ pretty advanced cameraflage techniques of their own in order to be left alone.

cameraflage by QuacksO July 23, 2021

shuttle diplomacy 

What da two shysters in da "Emperor's New Clothes" story had to dispense a lot of in order to alleviate observers' suspicion as to why there was no thread on the weaving-apparatus on their looms.

All of da observing folks in da famous "invisible clothing" tale were absurdly trusting and easily-fooled (well, all except da "innocent little boy", of course), so da two swindlers had a very easy time of succeeding with their "shuttle diplomacy", at least until the parade was underway (by which time they themselves had likely slipped away with their ill-gotten riches and had long-since disappeared). In real life, however, representatives of various countries, governments, and ethnic/religious groups often have a much harder time coaxing trust and cooperation from da leaders and officials of da various territories dat dey hafta visit and work in.

shuttle diplomacy by QuacksO July 22, 2021

entréepreneur 

A comestibles supplier, vendor, or consultant who specializes in appetizers.

Garfield claims to be expert in food-related matters, but seeing as how he is just a crude edibles-vacuum who will gluttonously chow down on just about anything that tastes even marginally good, I'd hardly label him as much of an entréepreneur!

entréepreneur by QuacksO July 22, 2021