Puntmuffer's definitions

muffed punt

When your babe throws you the last condom and you drop it and it falls under the bed, killing your chance to score.

I was like the New York Jets last night - muffed punt and the game was over.

by Puntmuffer September 18, 2017

White fudge ding dong

What to call a white guy's dingleberry after anal sex.

Anne loves a white fudge ding dong before going to sleep.

by Puntmuffer September 27, 2017

Peanut butter ho ho

A sex act wherein a prostitute smears your penis with creamy Jif and gives you a blowjob, while you're dressed as Santa Claus

I'm so pissed off - I paid for a peanut butter ho ho yesterday, but the damn whore only had chunky Skippy and then it got all over my rented costume - worst office Christmas party ever.

by Puntmuffer September 27, 2017

Pretzel bites

A playful sex act that involves biting into the soft, salty and sweet lips of your partner after they've eaten a chocolate-covered pretzel.

Shannon loved getting pretzel bites at work, but not as much as Ben did.

by Puntmuffer September 24, 2017

Golden Queen

1. The epitome of physical perfection, especially as it relates to the vascular system.
2. RuPaul after a golden shower.
3. The successor to the back-door queen.
4. The eponymous band's output from 1974-1981.

You can call her a golden queen, but just don't call her an accountant.

by Puntmuffer October 15, 2018

Going down under

1) Sucking Thor's hammer;
2) Teabagging Thor;
3) Pegging Thor;
4) Masturbating while thinking of Thor;
5) Taking ten days off in Australia.

Last night I told Lior that he is lucky I met him before Thor. I told him that I would be in Australia right now going down under.

by Puntmuffer October 28, 2017

hoisting the trophy

Lifting your partner during sex to get her in position so that you can get some back-door action.

There's no doubt Brian will be hoisting the trophy in a few weeks.

by Puntmuffer February 2, 2018