Legos in the shower

Jizz that's dried out and hardened on a shower floor.

Shira swore she'd never shower second again after almost stepping on the Legos in the shower.

by Puntmuffer October 24, 2017

Choke on a potato

What to call it when you're teabagging someone with massive balls and you start to gag.

Ari was afraid he'd choke on a potato at lunch today.

by Puntmuffer October 04, 2017

sangria in the sukkah

Being flogged with a lulav by a Rabbi until your ass bleeds, then having the etrog juice poured into the wound.

Ross's favorite Jewish holiday ritual was having sangria in the sukkah.

by Puntmuffer October 02, 2017

muffed punt

When your babe throws you the last condom and you drop it and it falls under the bed, killing your chance to score.

I was like the New York Jets last night - muffed punt and the game was over.

by Puntmuffer September 18, 2017

Pretzel bites

A playful sex act that involves biting into the soft, salty and sweet lips of your partner after they've eaten a chocolate-covered pretzel.

Shannon loved getting pretzel bites at work, but not as much as Ben did.

by Puntmuffer September 24, 2017

Golden Queen

1. The epitome of physical perfection, especially as it relates to the vascular system.
2. RuPaul after a golden shower.
3. The successor to the back-door queen.
4. The eponymous band's output from 1974-1981.

You can call her a golden queen, but just don't call her an accountant.

by Puntmuffer October 15, 2018

routes

The different paths a penis can take to maneuver through the various defenses crafted by women to protect their end zones.

Cam Newton thinks it's funny to hear a female talk about routes .

by Puntmuffer October 06, 2017