Definitions by Puntmuffer

routes

The different paths a penis can take to maneuver through the various defenses crafted by women to protect their end zones.

Cam Newton thinks it's funny to hear a female talk about routes .

routes by Puntmuffer October 6, 2017

Choke on a potato 

What to call it when you're teabagging someone with massive balls and you start to gag.

Ari was afraid he'd choke on a potato at lunch today.

Choke on a potato by Puntmuffer October 4, 2017

sangria in the sukkah 

Being flogged with a lulav by a Rabbi until your ass bleeds, then having the etrog juice poured into the wound.

Ross's favorite Jewish holiday ritual was having sangria in the sukkah.

sangria in the sukkah by Puntmuffer October 2, 2017

White fudge ding dong 

What to call a white guy's dingleberry after anal sex.

Anne loves a white fudge ding dong before going to sleep.

White fudge ding dong by Puntmuffer September 27, 2017

Peanut butter ho ho

A sex act wherein a prostitute smears your penis with creamy Jif and gives you a blowjob, while you're dressed as Santa Claus

I'm so pissed off - I paid for a peanut butter ho ho yesterday, but the damn whore only had chunky Skippy and then it got all over my rented costume - worst office Christmas party ever.

Peanut butter ho ho by Puntmuffer September 27, 2017

Pretzel bites 

A playful sex act that involves biting into the soft, salty and sweet lips of your partner after they've eaten a chocolate-covered pretzel.

Shannon loved getting pretzel bites at work, but not as much as Ben did.

Pretzel bites by Puntmuffer September 24, 2017

muffed punt 

When your babe throws you the last condom and you drop it and it falls under the bed, killing your chance to score.

I was like the New York Jets last night - muffed punt and the game was over.

muffed punt by Puntmuffer September 18, 2017