14 definition by Puntmuffer

Top Definition
The different paths a penis can take to maneuver through the various defenses crafted by women to protect their end zones.
Cam Newton thinks it's funny to hear a female talk about routes .
by Puntmuffer October 06, 2017

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When your babe throws you the last condom and you drop it and it falls under the bed, killing your chance to score.
I was like the New York Jets last night - muffed punt and the game was over.
by Puntmuffer September 18, 2017

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A playful sex act that involves biting into the soft, salty and sweet lips of your partner after they've eaten a chocolate-covered pretzel.
Shannon loved getting pretzel bites at work, but not as much as Ben did.
by Puntmuffer September 24, 2017

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Thrusting and licking with one's tongue all at the same time
After their date night, Brian did a lot of thicking.
via giphy
by Puntmuffer November 14, 2019

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A sex act wherein a prostitute smears your penis with creamy Jif and gives you a blowjob, while you're dressed as Santa Claus
I'm so pissed off - I paid for a peanut butter ho ho yesterday, but the damn whore only had chunky Skippy and then it got all over my rented costume - worst office Christmas party ever.
by Puntmuffer September 27, 2017

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What to call a white guy's dingleberry after anal sex.
Anne loves a white fudge ding dong before going to sleep.
by Puntmuffer September 27, 2017

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Ejaculate that leaks from your mistress's vagina after sex.
My army buddy just stared in disbelief at the bad conduct discharge that was lying on the bed - he had thought sex with the general's wife would cheer him up, but it was sex with her in the first place that led to his court martial.
by Puntmuffer October 23, 2018

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