Puntmuffer's definitions

Golden Queen

1. The epitome of physical perfection, especially as it relates to the vascular system.
2. RuPaul after a golden shower.
3. The successor to the back-door queen.
4. The eponymous band's output from 1974-1981.

You can call her a golden queen, but just don't call her an accountant.

by Puntmuffer October 15, 2018

bad conduct discharge

Ejaculate that leaks from your mistress's vagina after sex.

My army buddy just stared in disbelief at the bad conduct discharge that was lying on the bed - he had thought sex with the general's wife would cheer him up, but it was sex with her in the first place that led to his court martial.

by Puntmuffer October 23, 2018

thicking

Thrusting and licking with one's tongue all at the same time

After their date night, Brian did a lot of thicking.

by Puntmuffer November 14, 2019

muffed punt

When your babe throws you the last condom and you drop it and it falls under the bed, killing your chance to score.

I was like the New York Jets last night - muffed punt and the game was over.

by Puntmuffer September 18, 2017

Pretzel bites

A playful sex act that involves biting into the soft, salty and sweet lips of your partner after they've eaten a chocolate-covered pretzel.

Shannon loved getting pretzel bites at work, but not as much as Ben did.

by Puntmuffer September 24, 2017

White fudge ding dong

What to call a white guy's dingleberry after anal sex.

Anne loves a white fudge ding dong before going to sleep.

by Puntmuffer September 27, 2017

Peanut butter ho ho

A sex act wherein a prostitute smears your penis with creamy Jif and gives you a blowjob, while you're dressed as Santa Claus

I'm so pissed off - I paid for a peanut butter ho ho yesterday, but the damn whore only had chunky Skippy and then it got all over my rented costume - worst office Christmas party ever.

by Puntmuffer September 27, 2017