Piemanius's definitions

twatwanker

Derogatory: Idiot. Lady pud-puller
pearl wiggler pull one's pud beat one's meat twat wanker wank arsehole idiot eejit fanny

She's a twatwanker of the first order.

by Piemanius September 14, 2006

WFF

Wee fat fucker.
Gotta be someone who is short and squat.
Relevant only to some parts of Scotland.

While waiting in the queue for my McDonald's some WFF barged me to the side, obviously in greater need than me.

by Piemanius March 7, 2007

Lillian Gish

Rhyming slang for "pish" Scottish
Pish from piss. Pee. Wee. etc
from verb: to urinate.

"I'm burstin' for a Lillian Gish."
"I'm going for a gish. Anyone want one?".
"Single fish" sometimes used in lieu of Lillian Gish.

by Piemanius March 7, 2007

grockle

The combined sound of snorting hard that wad of mucus or phlegm or lunger or its medical name "paranasal tubercular sinus oyster" from nose to back of throat then adjusting position by teasing it around the soft palate prior to firing forcefully from mouth (or, er, swallowing).
Derived from grolly, loogie and hockle.

Spit it out to produce a pavement oyster

Derived from grolly, loogie and hockle.

It makes her feel sick when you grockle like that.

by Piemanius May 15, 2008

paranasal tubercular sinus oyster

A pavement oyster not yet deposited. i.e. Still in production.

"I must be dehydrated or maybe I've got a cold coming on. I feel like I've got a big lump of chewing gum stuck up my nose. Cover your ears for a second, lads. I'm going to have a good old grockle and see if I can expel this paranasal tubercular sinus oyster."

by Piemanius May 15, 2008

tank tracks

The brown marks left, below waterline, on the white porcelain after a particularly messy dump.

(Sometimes only removable with brush and boiling water).

OK. C'mon, own up. Who's tank-tracked the bog?

Sorry guys. That curry got the better of me. I've tank-tracked the toilet.

There are tank tracks in the toilet. Who is responsible?

by Piemanius May 20, 2008

NPR

After bowel movement at time of wiping: no marks left on toilet tissue. Acronym for "No Paper Required".

"Beautiful!. It's always the same after a few pints of stout: comes out like it's in a bag, tapered at both ends, silky, smooth and NPR."

by Piemanius May 20, 2008