NPR

After bowel movement at time of wiping: no marks left on toilet tissue. Acronym for "No Paper Required".
"Beautiful!. It's always the same after a few pints of stout: comes out like it's in a bag, tapered at both ends, silky, smooth and NPR."
by Piemanius May 20, 2008
Get the NPR mug.

Lillian Gish

Rhyming slang for "pish" Scottish
Pish from piss. Pee. Wee. etc
from verb: to urinate.
"I'm burstin' for a Lillian Gish."
"I'm going for a gish. Anyone want one?".
"Single fish" sometimes used in lieu of Lillian Gish.
by Piemanius March 07, 2007
Get the Lillian Gish mug.

Non-digitus extractus

I acknowledge that it's taking longer than you expected but the powers-that-be have been struck down by a rare case of Non-digitus extractus.
by Piemanius March 07, 2009
Get the Non-digitus extractus mug.

grockle

The combined sound of snorting hard that wad of mucus or phlegm or lunger or its medical name "paranasal tubercular sinus oyster" from nose to back of throat then adjusting position by teasing it around the soft palate prior to firing forcefully from mouth (or, er, swallowing).
Derived from grolly, loogie and hockle.

Spit it out to produce a pavement oyster

Derived from grolly, loogie and hockle.
It makes her feel sick when you grockle like that.
by Piemanius May 15, 2008
Get the grockle mug.

Scaffy

noun
pl Scaffies
A Refuse Collector.
In Scotland (esp Fife and Lothians); a roadsweeper or a person who would push a two-dustbin barrow and use a broom and shovel to clear rubbish and shite off the thoroughfares.

Scaffies also used to rule their patch with a firm hands on misbehaving youths. Now the Community Police have assumed full responsibility for what was the scaffy's unofficial job - kicking litter louts' arses.
Some years ago, before modern titles like ‘hygiene consultants or pathway technicians’ for street cleaners, the cleanliness of Scotland's streets was in the very capable hands of ‘scaffies’ – the country's formidable road sweepers."

"Jist chuck it doon there, pal. The scaffy'll get it in the mornin'"

"The scaffy will kick yer erse if he sees ya droapping' that. Gonnae better pit it in the bin"
by Piemanius October 12, 2008
Get the Scaffy mug.
A pavement oyster not yet deposited. i.e. Still in production.
"I must be dehydrated or maybe I've got a cold coming on. I feel like I've got a big lump of chewing gum stuck up my nose. Cover your ears for a second, lads. I'm going to have a good old grockle and see if I can expel this paranasal tubercular sinus oyster."
by Piemanius May 15, 2008
Get the paranasal tubercular sinus oyster mug.

tank tracks

The brown marks left, below waterline, on the white porcelain after a particularly messy dump.

(Sometimes only removable with brush and boiling water).
OK. C'mon, own up. Who's tank-tracked the bog?

Sorry guys. That curry got the better of me. I've tank-tracked the toilet.

There are tank tracks in the toilet. Who is responsible?
by Piemanius May 20, 2008
Get the tank tracks mug.