Definitions by Peter Kobs
Talibanned
1. The act of banning any Taliban member from a specific area or activity.
Examples include: Crossing a border, entering a city, serving on a tribal committee or boarding an airplane. In some cases, local governments are trying to recruit ex-Taliban members into the fold, providing a way out from "Talibanishment."
2. The continuing effort by Pakistani and Afghani officials to eliminate Taliban violence by labeling specific individuals or groups as terrorists.
3. An extremely difficult task.
Examples include: Crossing a border, entering a city, serving on a tribal committee or boarding an airplane. In some cases, local governments are trying to recruit ex-Taliban members into the fold, providing a way out from "Talibanishment."
2. The continuing effort by Pakistani and Afghani officials to eliminate Taliban violence by labeling specific individuals or groups as terrorists.
3. An extremely difficult task.
Talibanned by Peter Kobs January 4, 2010
Football Withdrawal Syndrome
1. The agonizing mental process of accepting that football season is finally over.
This serious mental disorder afflicts millions of Americans every year, usually in the second week of February. Effective therapy is not available until the following August, at the earliest.
2. A crisis in the national spirit that is mitigated (only slightly) by the arrival of March Madness -- the NCAA basketball tournament.
3. The realization that life as we know it has ended, at least for six torturously long months.
4. Proof that Arena Football will never take the place of the real thing.
This serious mental disorder afflicts millions of Americans every year, usually in the second week of February. Effective therapy is not available until the following August, at the earliest.
2. A crisis in the national spirit that is mitigated (only slightly) by the arrival of March Madness -- the NCAA basketball tournament.
3. The realization that life as we know it has ended, at least for six torturously long months.
4. Proof that Arena Football will never take the place of the real thing.
Hank was hospitalized on February 12 with severe anxiety and chest pain. Following a series of CAT scans at the Mayo Clinic, he was diagnozed with Football Withdrawal Syndrome (FWS). May God have mercy on his soul.
Football Withdrawal Syndrome by Peter Kobs January 1, 2010
Degifting
1. A mutual agreement to suspend holiday gifts for at least one season, usually within a single family or circle of friends.
2. The act of replacing useless and pointless merchandise with something more meaningful, such as a charitable donation, service project or holiday party.
3. Wal-Mart's biggest nightmare.
2. The act of replacing useless and pointless merchandise with something more meaningful, such as a charitable donation, service project or holiday party.
3. Wal-Mart's biggest nightmare.
Due to the recession, we've decided that Degifting is the best plan for Christmas this year. Instead, we're all getting together to serve food at the homeless shelter. I really don't need another Salad Shooter. Do you?
Degifting by Peter Kobs December 21, 2009
Underlord
1. A low-level official who wields great power in a bureaucratic system -- the opposite of an "overloard."
2. Someone who can make your life miserable by enforcing obscure rules and regulations in a sadistic manner.
3. The true power brokers of bureaucracy.
2. Someone who can make your life miserable by enforcing obscure rules and regulations in a sadistic manner.
3. The true power brokers of bureaucracy.
Don't upset Marvin! He's the Underlord of the insurance claims division. With one click of a button, he can double your premiums or deny you coverage.
Underlord by Peter Kobs December 11, 2009
Gifted Child
1. An average student with insecure parents.
2. The elitist notion that only some children have "gifts" or talents worthy of attention.
3. A hollow form of "self-praise by proxy" that snobby parents use to bolster their social standing.
2. The elitist notion that only some children have "gifts" or talents worthy of attention.
3. A hollow form of "self-praise by proxy" that snobby parents use to bolster their social standing.
Our son Timmy is a Gifted Child. He should be in a special school to nurture his extraordinary talents - at taxpayer expense. Did I tell you that I drive a BMW?
Gifted Child by Peter Kobs December 10, 2009
Reployment
1. The act of re-employing someone (who was previously laid off) as a temp worker, usually at a lower wage scale.
2. What happens to many people who have lost their permanent jobs following the crash of 2008.
3. Another sign of the harsh economic times in which we live.
2. What happens to many people who have lost their permanent jobs following the crash of 2008.
3. Another sign of the harsh economic times in which we live.
Acme Industries is having a Reployment Fair at the hotel downtown. They'll re-hire you as a temp at about half of what you were earning last year.
Reployment by Peter Kobs December 7, 2009
Nuke Crib
1. A secret storage place for illegal nuclear weapons or nuke technology.
2. A nuclear weapons development facility that is purposely kept hidden from IAEA inspectors.
2. Iran's secret nuke plant beneath the "holy" city of Qum, which was disclosed by U.S. President Obama at the United Nations in September 2009.
2. A nuclear weapons development facility that is purposely kept hidden from IAEA inspectors.
2. Iran's secret nuke plant beneath the "holy" city of Qum, which was disclosed by U.S. President Obama at the United Nations in September 2009.
Using satellite imagery and espionage, we located Iran's secret Nuke Crib in a set of tunnels near Qum. They put the facility there to make it harder to bomb because of possible collateral damage to the ancient Qum mosques.
Nuke Crib by Peter Kobs September 28, 2009