Pete's definitions
Me husband is a keeper, he's a very busy man,
I try to understand him and I help him all I can,
But sometimes of an evening I feel a trifle dim,
All alone and plucking pheasants when I'd rather pluck with him.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's mate
And I'm only plucking pheasants
Cause the pheasant plucker's late.
I'm not good at plucking pheasants, pheasant plucking I get stuck,
Though some peasants find it pleasant I'd much rather pluck a duck,
Oh, but plucking geese is gorgeous, I can pluck a goose with ease
But plucking pheasants is sheer torture, for they haven't any grease.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
He has gone out on the tiles,
He only plucked one pheasant
And I'm sitting here with piles.
You have to pluck them fresh, if they're fresh it's not unpleasant,
I knew a man in Dunstable, could pluck a frozen pheasant.
They say the village constable has pheasant plucking sessions
With the vicar of a Sunday 'tween the first and second lessons.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's son,
And I'm only plucking pheasants
Till the pheasant pluckers come.
My good friend Godfrey's most adept, he's really got the knack,
He likes to have a pheasant plucked before he hits the sack.
I try and lend a helping hand, I gather up the feathers,
It's really all this pheasant plucking keeps us here together.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's friend,
And I'm only plucking pheasants
As a means unto an end.
Me husband's in the woods all day, a-banging with his gun,
If he could hear me heartfelt cries, then surely he would run,
For I've fluff in all me crannies and there's feathers up me nose,
And I'm itchin' in the kitchen' from me head down to me toes.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's wife,
And when we pluck together
It's a pheasant plucking life!
I try to understand him and I help him all I can,
But sometimes of an evening I feel a trifle dim,
All alone and plucking pheasants when I'd rather pluck with him.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's mate
And I'm only plucking pheasants
Cause the pheasant plucker's late.
I'm not good at plucking pheasants, pheasant plucking I get stuck,
Though some peasants find it pleasant I'd much rather pluck a duck,
Oh, but plucking geese is gorgeous, I can pluck a goose with ease
But plucking pheasants is sheer torture, for they haven't any grease.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
He has gone out on the tiles,
He only plucked one pheasant
And I'm sitting here with piles.
You have to pluck them fresh, if they're fresh it's not unpleasant,
I knew a man in Dunstable, could pluck a frozen pheasant.
They say the village constable has pheasant plucking sessions
With the vicar of a Sunday 'tween the first and second lessons.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's son,
And I'm only plucking pheasants
Till the pheasant pluckers come.
My good friend Godfrey's most adept, he's really got the knack,
He likes to have a pheasant plucked before he hits the sack.
I try and lend a helping hand, I gather up the feathers,
It's really all this pheasant plucking keeps us here together.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's friend,
And I'm only plucking pheasants
As a means unto an end.
Me husband's in the woods all day, a-banging with his gun,
If he could hear me heartfelt cries, then surely he would run,
For I've fluff in all me crannies and there's feathers up me nose,
And I'm itchin' in the kitchen' from me head down to me toes.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's wife,
And when we pluck together
It's a pheasant plucking life!
by Pete December 16, 2004
Get the pheasant pluckermug. Short for noob, which in turn is short for newbie - a term used to describe somebody new at something.
by Pete June 5, 2004
Get the n00bsmug. by pete May 21, 2003
Get the turdmug. What happens the morning after a curry (or any other spicy food) when you find yourself racing to the bathroom to empty your bowel before you foul yourself. The shit seems to spray everywhere.
I experienced a splatter special last night, and was forced to wipe down the seat cos it was covered with shit.
by Pete October 24, 2004
Get the splatter specialmug. The horrible, cheesy substance that forms on the head of your penis. A good excuse for girls not to give you a blow job. See smegma.
I literally had to scrape the bell end cheddar off today. Guess I should have washed myself more often...
by Pete May 22, 2005
Get the bell end cheddarmug. the digital, textual, onomatopoetic equivalent to real life affection. Usually expressed between asterixes or shown italic
by Pete November 26, 2002
Get the E-ffectionmug. a creepy guy, named eric, that shamelessly hits on co-workers. often lurks near the lunchroom casually eyeballing new "office meat." somtimes has a really annoying laugh, and hits on girls from his "ride" at stoplights and junior high schools.
uses such pickup lines as "im having a rave at my pad, wanna chill?" and "make way for the princess!"
uses such pickup lines as "im having a rave at my pad, wanna chill?" and "make way for the princess!"
by pete February 21, 2005
Get the creepy emug.