Pete's definitions

turd

big , fat, smelly shit thats bein launched outta sum1s arsehole!

ewww dude u stepped in turd!

by pete May 21, 2003

splatter special

What happens the morning after a curry (or any other spicy food) when you find yourself racing to the bathroom to empty your bowel before you foul yourself. The shit seems to spray everywhere.

I experienced a splatter special last night, and was forced to wipe down the seat cos it was covered with shit.

by Pete October 24, 2004

pisseth

If you want to say the word piss (urinate) with a little more class, use the word pisseth. Works well with other forms of archaic language, particularly from the KJV Bible.

Dost thou need to pisseth, pray tell?

2 Kings 9:8 For the whole house of Ahab shall perish: and I will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel:

by Pete October 5, 2004

bell end cheddar

The horrible, cheesy substance that forms on the head of your penis. A good excuse for girls not to give you a blow job. See smegma.

I literally had to scrape the bell end cheddar off today. Guess I should have washed myself more often...

by Pete May 22, 2005

n00bs

Short for noob, which in turn is short for newbie - a term used to describe somebody new at something.

"You thick n00b!"

by Pete June 5, 2004

pheasant plucker

Somebody who plucks the feathers off pheasants, of course.

Me husband is a keeper, he's a very busy man,
I try to understand him and I help him all I can,
But sometimes of an evening I feel a trifle dim,
All alone and plucking pheasants when I'd rather pluck with him.

I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's mate
And I'm only plucking pheasants
Cause the pheasant plucker's late.

I'm not good at plucking pheasants, pheasant plucking I get stuck,
Though some peasants find it pleasant I'd much rather pluck a duck,
Oh, but plucking geese is gorgeous, I can pluck a goose with ease
But plucking pheasants is sheer torture, for they haven't any grease.

I'm not the pheasant plucker,
He has gone out on the tiles,
He only plucked one pheasant
And I'm sitting here with piles.

You have to pluck them fresh, if they're fresh it's not unpleasant,
I knew a man in Dunstable, could pluck a frozen pheasant.
They say the village constable has pheasant plucking sessions
With the vicar of a Sunday 'tween the first and second lessons.

I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's son,
And I'm only plucking pheasants
Till the pheasant pluckers come.

My good friend Godfrey's most adept, he's really got the knack,
He likes to have a pheasant plucked before he hits the sack.
I try and lend a helping hand, I gather up the feathers,
It's really all this pheasant plucking keeps us here together.

I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's friend,
And I'm only plucking pheasants
As a means unto an end.

Me husband's in the woods all day, a-banging with his gun,
If he could hear me heartfelt cries, then surely he would run,
For I've fluff in all me crannies and there's feathers up me nose,
And I'm itchin' in the kitchen' from me head down to me toes.

I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's wife,
And when we pluck together
It's a pheasant plucking life!

by Pete December 16, 2004

talkin 'em

While talking to a female, you are faking a coversation with the female but are in fact talking to her clevage(breasts, knockers, funbags, and whatever you like to call them).

Man, Dave and Pete were talkin 'em hardocre last night at the club, but thank god they didn't get caught.

by Pete June 19, 2006