Definitions by Percy Dovetonsils III

Defcon 

Political pollster's term for defecation constant wherein a percentage of data used in projecting election results based on exit polls is assumed to be shit because voters say one thing to be seen as having voted for the winner but actually voted for their enlightened self-interest.

Fucking Defcon is 87.6%, Mondale is fucked.

Defcon by Percy Dovetonsils III July 30, 2003

gnude 

To be gored or mounted by a male gnu. (The former being preferable)

After having been gnude while on a photo safari, Professor Dovetonsils avowed that next time the Nikon was staying home and he was bringing a .460 Weatherby Magnum.

gnude by Percy Dovetonsils III July 25, 2003

klugle 

A rank in the Ku Klux Klan between Imperial Wizard and Klaxtain.

Klugle Darryl was adept at crossburning, achieving stunning visual effects not seen since the 1936 film "Immorten der Juden" by Leni Rieffenstahl, but wasn't destined to be an Imperial Wizard because of his predilection for small boys and barnyard animals, nevertheless, he made me mighty proud to be white.

klugle by Percy Dovetonsils III July 24, 2003