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Optical_Epilepsy's definitions

woman's candidate

A male who is cute, sexy, fine or otherwise considered attractive, but not a guy you would snatch up like a kidnapper.

This could be because you aren't sure he's the one you want yet, or because you do not chase men.
Kayla: Damn he's hot

Carla: Go getcha man girl

Kayla: Well I don't chase men cuz they chase me lol

Carla: Aw so he just a woman's candidate

Kayla: Yea exactly
by Optical_Epilepsy June 5, 2011
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proclamaimed

To lose an argument, or sound stupid when trying to say something because you spoke first, or the person you are arguing against is unreasonably stupid, a bigot or a dissentomatic
Sarah: Lowering taxes will save taxpayers money

Douchebag: No it won't because lowering taxes will raise the national debt, dumbass.

Sarah: What does national debt have to do with how much money taxpayers are saved?

Douchebag: So it won't raise the national debt? You sound stupid, fucking retard hahaha. Sarah is so fucking stupid she seriously thinks that lowering taxes won't raise the national debt.

Sarah: (pulls out pistol)

Narrator: Before First 48 filmed the subsequent murder, Sarah was proclamaimed by the Douchebag
by Optical_Epilepsy December 11, 2011
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reliable texter

Somebody who is always willing to text you back. These are people you text when your doing something you don't really wanna do but have to do it (school, work, etc) and it would be very nice if somebody would keep texting you back instead of having to wait minutes-hours at a time
reliable texters are the best
by Optical_Epilepsy June 28, 2010
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assumptacking

Attempting to make somebody look bad by assuming what they meant is negative or wrong
Jacob: I wish people would stop abusing welfare

Jesse: So your saying all people who use welfare automatically will abuse it?

Jacob: Obviously not Jesse... Stop assumptacking me...

Jesse: So then exactly what are you saying?

Jacob: (sighs) Fine I'll repeat myself: I wish people would stop abusing welfare

Jesse: Oh so just because there poor and need welfare means they want to make other people suffer right?

Narrator: Jesse thinks he is making a point by being very assumptive and jumping to conclusions. He's really just being a douchebag and trying to make Jacob feel bad for his opinion. He better hope Jacob thinks carefully and doesn't reach for the knife...
by Optical_Epilepsy June 5, 2011
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illiterated texting

When a person who normally spells everything correctly, using proper grammar and punctuation, decides to send messages that heavily use slang, shortened spelling (u instead of you,) and little if any punctuation so the person they are texting will stick around long enough to get to know them.

This is commonly used by men who are trying to get with woman who are attractive, but are not interested in men who come off as nerdy, proper, and useful to society.

ILLITERATED DEFINITION: w3n dey talk l1ke a c00l p3rson
I used the example for illiterated texting in the definition
by Optical_Epilepsy April 2, 2011
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name calling

Believe it or not this actually results in murder. Some people honestly have a weakness to names and are physically hurt by them. People will not only be willing to hurt you, but willing to eventually kill you if you continue to call them names and/or say stuff about them.

This comes from the aspect of pride where you shouldn't tolerate things people do to you that you don't like. But when there goal is obviously just to make you mad, by getting mad it gives them what they want. The only way your gonna let some words bother you that much is if you have low self esteem

Now last time I checked the only force that words have come from the air pressure that leaves your mouth. How badly you let names bother you is YOUR fault. There is no command someone can say that will make you automatically attack them against your will. People seriously try to justify attacking somebody or vandalizing there property, or even irrelevant violence because they were called names.

When are people gonna realize that it's not what they call you it's what you answer to?
Name calling is involved in 67% of murders in the United States
by Optical_Epilepsy July 20, 2010
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hyperbodick

Somebody who takes an exaggeration, a figure of speech, or a hyperbole literally as a pathetic attempt to make you sound stupid

It's ironic though how when ever somebody tries to be one, after they rebuttal, all you can hear are crickets chirping
Normal Person: It's raining cats and dogs outside!

Hyperbodick: Animals can't fall from the sky you fucking moron! This faggot bitch cunt seriously thinks cats and dogs can fall from the sky, what a retard!

Normal Person: (pulls out pistol)
by Optical_Epilepsy December 10, 2011
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