conjumplaining

The act of jumping to conclusions so your right to complain is justified.

This tactic is typically involves deflective arguing and ignoring what the other person has to say.

People who use this tactic will also typically have very low respect for the person they are talking to, as well as having no sense of honor

Man: I wish women would stop being so selfish

Women: If your gay that's ok, nobody likes ugly, pathetic, desperate faggots anyway

Man: I'm so tired of women always conjumplaining

Women: If your gonna hit me, do it right now so I can beat you up, or file assault charges if you win the fight

Man: (censored for graphic violence)

conjumplaining by Optical_Epilepsy May 14, 2011

contemplaining 

The act of contemplating and complaining at the same time. Used to describe whiny nincompoops who bitch and moan about inane, asinine, and absurd things that usually never even happen.

Billy: But what if we have a pop quiz today? If I do poorly it will go on my permenant record, and I won't get into Harvard, and my parents will kill me, and OMFG TEH WORLD WILL END!!!111

Timmy: Stop contemplaining, you insolent turd.

contemplaining by Devious Muffin December 6, 2006